Not Alone
by bucketnmop
Summary: Kensi and Deeks try to understand what Hetty was trying to tell each of them before she left and the effect it may have on their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Not Alone

Kensi couldn't stop thinking about it. Her conversation with Hetty and the gift that she had been given would not leave her mind. There were a number of different ways to approach this and they were all both intriguing and distressing.

"When the time comes for you to hang up your gun. And it will. You'll want more to come home to than a collection of antique weapons."

Kensi Blye did not want to end up alone.

The team had discussed the fact that Hetty was acting strangely, but this morning's conversation had stunned Kensi. Now, at the end of another eventful, stressful, and wholly dangerous day, she tried to grasp and understand what Hetty was trying to tell her.

Kensi's life as an NCIS special ops agent came with certain costs. There was always Sam's favorite – the endless varying of routine. Morning after morning Kensi drove to work by a different route. Day after day she bought donuts from a different shop. She didn't go to Pampered Chef or Mary Kay parties. She didn't go to baby showers for her girlfriends. She didn't hit the malls on weekends with a gaggle of giggling girls. If she shopped it was alone. If she ate out it was alone or with one or more of the team. She never ordered pizza but stopped to pick one up. She didn't call a buddy after work to talk about her day, or report about a first date or plan an evening at the movies. Hell, she even went to movies alone.

These were things that Kensi normally chose not to spend a lot of time thinking about. Yes, she sometimes wished for more friends and a more typical life but she always told herself that this job and the choices that went with it were the right ones for her.

Tonight, alone in her living room once again, she wasn't sure.

Then there was the other part of their conversation. Hetty had responded to Kensi's somewhat negative comment about the men she met by saying that there would be someone in Kensi's life. She alluded to the idea that if Kensi kept her eyes open he would find her.

At this point Kensi was pacing back and forth across her living room. It was Friday night and she was just not in the mood to open a beer and watch TV alone. Again. It was difficult for her to admit, even to herself, that she knew what she wanted to do - but her frustration finally won out.

Kensi took a quick shower. She spent more time on her hair and makeup than she normally did, but it was still fresh and casual. She put on a cream colored top with open lacework across the shoulders and her signature skinny jeans. Then, in a backward way that was very Kensi, she picked up the phone.

Marty Deeks was having a similar evening to Agent Blye's. He could not stop thinking about his talk with Hetty. It pleased him deeply that she wanted him to join NCIS as an agent. It was a big step up, at least in most people's eyes, and would mean a pay increase, among other perks. He was desperately trying to sort out what was most important to him and why he was so hesitant to give up his job with LAPD.

He spent the early part of the evening alternating between walking around his apartment and flopping down on the couch – only to get up and pace around some more.

He finally decided he was hungry and needed to go find something to eat. He showered and dressed in his usual jeans and madras plaid shirt. He was looking for his keys when the phone rang.

"Marty Deeks." His caller id told him it was Kensi and his body responded like it always did when it came to her. Was she all right? Would he have to go into work? Work meant seeing her again, but right now he was hungry…."

"Hey, Deeks. It's Kensi."

When she didn't immediately say anything more, Marty was slightly confused. Her voice was hesitant – not what he was used to- and she didn't mention work right away. He was curious so he willingly played along.

" Hey. What's up with you this lovely Friday night?"

Kensi had thought about this and made a decision, but now, hearing his voice, she felt suddenly nervous and almost shy. She stood up a little straighter and realized how ridiculous that was during a phone conversation. The humor of the thought made her start to relax and she charged on.

"Umm. I haven't eaten and I was just wondering, you know, if you wanted, and if you're hungry and not busy, if maybe you might..."

Marty's laugh was the best thing Kensi had heard in a long time. It was open and genuine and completely honest. When he laughed, she relaxed completely and laughed with him. This situation might be different than usual but this was still her partner, and her friend. She felt a little glow when she thought about it.

Deeks briefly considered giving Kensi a ration about calling him but he was so totally pleased that he couldn't bring himself to spoil the moment – besides; he'd have a chance to give her a bad time later.

"Wow, great timing. I have my keys in my hand and I was just heading out to find something to eat. I was planning to go to the mission afterwards. If you want to go with me, I could pick you up and we could do both. Or whatever." He didn't want to push, this was her lead.

"Sounds good to me," Kensi replied. "But I'm already in the car. Why don't I pick you up?"

Marty chuckled. "Ok, Wonder Woman. I'll be out front."

Kensi zipped into the parking lot and pulled to a stop in front of Deeks. Her driving always made him smile except when it made him grab something to hang on to. He swung open the door and slid into the seat next to her.

"Evenin' Partner," he said with a broad smile, which changed slightly as he looked over at her. "Hey. You look great. Did you want to go someplace nice? I could run back in and change real quick if you want?" He was surprised to realize he was babbling and let out a nervous chuckle.

Kensi heard it too and it made her smile. She wasn't sure why, but his discomfort was charming, and perhaps alarming. She knew he was seeing her in a different way than he did at work. And she didn't mind at all.

"No. It's fine. You look good." Kensi winced as the words left her mouth, knowing that it was an opening Deeks would never pass up. So she waited.

"Glad you think so." That was all? His smile was gentler than she would have expected and he wasn't giving her that all too familiar gotcha look either. Hmm. This night might just be interesting.

"So what's happening at the Mission tonight? Do we need to be there by a certain time?"

Marty watched her as he answered. "Fridays are family night. After dinner they show a movie for the adults and one for the kids. The people that need to can do laundry or fill out paper work while some of the other folks baby-sit. At nine o'clock we serve dessert. It's a really nice break, especially for moms with kids. "

Kensi glanced sideways at him as he spoke. She was impressed once again by all the time he spent helping other people. He never said much about it at work and the rest of the team had no idea of this caring, alter ego. Kensi would never have known either if he hadn't taken her with him on Christmas Eve after she got smacked in the head with a frying pan. She was sure he had done it so that he could keep an eye on her, but it had been a pleasant experience and she'd come away with a new appreciation for her partner.

"Does that sound okay? You could just drop me at the Mission after we eat, if you're not into helping out tonight. No pressure."

"It sounds great. I enjoyed the last time we did this." Kensi threw him a quick smile, " And I might be more help without a head injury."

They both laughed and then spent a few minutes deciding where they wanted to eat.

As Kensi deftly navigated toward their chosen destination, Marty noticed that her driving was less intense than usual. She seemed relaxed. He grinned as he wondered where this new, softer version of his partner had come from

They were soon seated at a booth in a fish and chips place not far from the beach. It had been there for years and was very different from the typical flashy chains that had been built more recently. There was lots of dark color and wood, with slightly cheesy nautical decorations, but the food was always excellent. They both ordered halibut and chips with a beer.

While they waited for their food they made small talk and enjoyed their drinks.

About halfway through the meal Kensi finally brought up the subject that had been on her mind all evening.

"What did Hetty say to you?"

"If I tell you, do you promise to tell me what she said to you?" Kensi knew that Deeks was serious about his question, so she took a moment to think about it. This was uncharted territory for them but she had made up her mind to act on some of the thoughts and feelings that she had ignored for so long. Her talk with Hetty had set something in motion. It was time.

"I promise."

Silence hung in the air as Deeks worked out his answer. He loved his job with NCIS. He was happier working with this bunch of people than perhaps he had ever been during his career in law enforcement. He was still unsure of why he was struggling with this whole thing but he knew Kensi played a leading role in both his happiness and his concern. He had considered more than once what he would say to her if they were ever to have a serious conversation like this one…

"She prepared the papers I need to sign to become a federal agent. She signed off on everything."

Deeks was looking at his hands while he spoke. When he raised his eyes to meet Kensi's, she wore a confused and questioning expression.

"Sooooo, is that good," she asked quietly.

"That's the problem. I don't know."

As he said the words, Marty realized that how they sounded and swiftly tried to clarify.

"I hope you know that I love my job with NCIS. I think I finally might have a place on this team." He paused and waited until she met his eyes and saw the teasing smile he had for her. "I really like the people I work with." He waited again and this time got an amused squint in response. "For a long time I thought I would never be accepted, never really fit in. But I think some of the team kinda like me now and the others begrudgingly value my work and are even occasionally glad I'm there."

They both laughed a little and Kensi started to speak but Deeks reached out and took her hand gently. "No. Let me finish." Kensi looked down at their joined hands and was silent as she waited.

"I wanted to be a cop from the time my dad was arrested for the first time. The officers that came to the house were professional with my dad, but they were really kind and supportive of me and especially my mom. I decided right then that I would do that for other people when I got the chance. I'm not sure I can function as a person if I'm not a cop."

"I've waited so long to get to this point in my life that I'm afraid to change anything in case the whole thing falls apart. I wonder if it's just as good to keep things the way they are, you know? What I have now, and maybe what we have now," he waved his hands between them, "seems pretty good to me." Deeks reached up and raked his hand through his hair in frustration. "But, I want to be permanent with this team. I do not want any chance of losing my connection with you." Realizing how that sounded Marty started to deflect but changed his mind and just looked at Kensi.

They were both quiet. For maybe the first time in their partnership there was nothing between them but honesty. It was different but not uncomfortable. Their eyes were locked as they searched for answers. Without realizing that he was doing so, Marty had turned Kensi's hand over on the table and was stroking his thumb slowly up and down her palm.

"Your turn."

Kensi dropped her eyes and watched Marty's hand move above hers. His words had cleared up a number of things for her. She was relieved that he wasn't going to run from all of this – from her. That understanding alone was a relief and made her thoughts much easier to share.

With a small smile and a sigh, she began. "Hetty told me that I didn't want to end up alone when I hang up my gun. I think she was really saying that she didn't want me to end up like her." Kensi looked up to check Deeks' reaction. He was listening intently and wore a slight frown. His hand had stopped moving on hers and she gave it a tiny push to remind him. He looked down at their hands and shot her an amused looked as he resumed his gentle caress.

"I told her I didn't meet many nice guys. She said I wasn't looking in the right places and if I quit trying so hard to find "him", "he" might find me."

After a brief pause, she added, "It really made me admit some stuff to myself. I think she has serious regrets. I guess I really don't want to be alone for the rest of my life"

Later, when they pulled into the parking lot at the mission and got out of the car, Deeks walked up beside her and slipped his hand into hers. He knew that they hadn't really decided anything during their conversation, certainly hadn't made any declarations of intent to each other. For all he knew things would go back to the way they'd been before or maybe they'd get worse. But tonight they were together and he wanted her to know that he was happy and that was good enough for right now. She squeezed his hand and bumped him gently with her hip.

"Let's do this thing."

**Hi again. Just a little story that's bouncing around in my brain. I haven't figured it all out yet. Would love to hear what you thnk. Shall I continue?**


	2. Chapter 2

Not Alone

Chapter Two

Walking through the door of the Mission was sensory overload. It was too warm, brightly lit and very loud.

Both movies had ended and groups of people young and old were streaming toward the tables in the dining area.

As Marty and Kensi entered, they were spotted by Miss Mary and received her traditional welcoming screech and warm hugs.

After he recovered, Deeks asked Mary where they could help.

"I think we have dessert all taken care of. Can you and Miss Kensi see if any of the moms need help with the little ones? It's so nice if they get a piece of cake and a chance to sit down for a minute before they leave."

Kensi's face showed a split second of uncertainty that made Marty smile. "Come on Kens. You'll love this."

Kensi had watched Deeks work with children before. He had an amazing way of connecting with them. She had thought more than once that it was because he was still such a (sometimes irritating) child himself. But _she_ hadn't spent a lot of time around kids and was feeling a little apprehensive as she followed him across the room.

As they walked through the crowd, Marty greeted person after person. He stopped several times to help a mom or child in some small way, completely comfortable and obviously happy.

Suddenly two small girls appeared out of nowhere and attached themselves to his knees.

"Mr. Marty. Mr. Marty," they squealed as he picked them both up into big hugs.

"Hey Lydia. Hi Blyth. Have you ladies had your cake?"

"We're not ladies Mr. Marty but we had our cake. It was chocolate." The older girl had dark hair and blue eyed with a soft voice and an airy lisp. The younger sister was a fiery red head with green eyes and freckles, who didn't speak but never took her eyes off Marty's face.

"Where are your mom and Jonesie?"

"Momma had troubles cause the washa machine didn't work right. She's got Jonesie. She said we could come in here and wait for her. Can we have a story Mr. Marty? Please? Please?"

"Sure you can have a story but I have a surprise for you. This is my special friend Miss Kensi and she asked if it would be all right if she reads to you tonight. She has been really looking forward to meeting you."

The sisters looked shyly in Kensi's direction. She had a sudden urge to run the other way but the girls were so cute and watching Deeks with them made her feel all gooey inside. She chided herself for being ridiculous and smiled genuinely back at them. When Deeks met her eyes, his look was so intense that she felt herself blush and had to look away. What was that?

He carried the girls toward a collection of mismatched chairs, child sized tables and piles of books at the back of the room. He set them down with instructions to go chose a story and as they hurried off he turned to Kensi.

"You okay with this?" Deeks had seen the flash of concern on her face when he had volunteered her and definitely did not want her to be uncomfortable.

"Yeah," she answered with a slightly nervous grin. "I think I can take 'em."

Deeks chuckled and then got very serious. "Their mom's name is Sarah. A drunk driver killed their dad while she was pregnant with Jones. She's going to school to get her cosmetology license and working two jobs. She works as a barista in the mornings and as a caregiver four nights a week. She stays with an older couple overnight so she has to pay a teenager in her building to stay with the kids while she's gone. Sometimes she doesn't sleep at all. It's crazy and not in a good way."

Kensi was stunned by his words. She looked at the girls sorting through the books and felt slightly sick. Deeks could see the distress on her face and hurried on. " But Sarah has a pretty good support system and gets help from several place like this one. Kensi, your being here tonight will be a big help for her. Don't forget that."

The little girls returned with a brightly colored book and stood in front of Kensi. They were trying to control their excitement but not doing a very good job.

Kensi lowered herself to their level with a big smile. "Did you find a good story?"

When they both nodded vigorously, she took one of each of their hands in hers and said, "Then lead the way."

A few minutes later Deeks rejoined them. He carried a messy, sleepy toddler cradled against his chest. He pulled a rocking chair nearer to the purple beanbag chair where Kensi and the two girls were sitting. Lydia was engrossed in the story, her eyes fixed on Kensi's face while she read. Blyth had her head resting in Kensi's lap and was fighting hard to stay awake – but losing. By the end of the book, both Blyth and Jones were asleep. Lydia snuggled in closer to Kensi and yawned.

Sarah walked into the room with a huge duffle bag of laundry slung over her shoulder. "Mr. Marty" was one of the people who made her survival possible and she knew it. He was a hero to her kids and a rock in her constantly shifting world. When she walked in and saw him holding her sleeping son and looking with open adoration at the women resting in a cozy pile with her daughters, her heart missed a beat. When Marty noticed her approaching and gave her one of his famous smiles, she relaxed. Sarah had wondered if he had anybody in his life and seeing this woman with him made her both a little sad and very happy. She gave a mental shrug and told herself that if they were here together, they'd probably continue coming - her life without Marty wasn't something she wanted to think about. As if he could read her mind, Deeks nodded slightly and whispered, "It's all good, Sarah."

Deeks made sure Sarah ate a piece of cake and had a care package to take with her before he helped her carry Jones and the laundry bag to her car. Then he went back inside and he and Kensi each carried out a sleeping girl. When they were buckled in Marty gave Sarah a quick hug and handed her a small envelope.

"You know I hate taking this from you, right Marty?" She said softly.

"Yes. You've told me that once or twice." He said with a chuckle.

"It's for the kids and someday you'll be able to help out someone else."

Now it was Sarah's turn to laugh. "Yes. I think I've heard that once or twice too."

She turned to Kensi and hesitated, but then gave her hug. "Thank you for helping with the girls." She paused briefly and then hurried on. "You are a very lucky woman."

Kensi was startled. How did she know? What did she know?

Then, instead of worrying about it she moved closer to Deeks and he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "You're welcome. Thank you for sharing your family with me – and you're right."

Sarah smiled at Kensi. "Next time?" She asked.

"Next time." Kensi assured them both.

As Sarah drove away Marty used the arm he still had around Kensi's shoulder to pull her around in front of him and in closer to his body. She wrapped her arms around his waist and tucked her head into his neck. They just stood and held each other. They were quiet and calm and satisfied. Neither of them wanted it to end but Kensi was the first to move. She pulled herself away just far enough to look into Marty's face. The evening they had just spent together had altered her picture of him yet again. Now as she looked at him intently, what she saw had changed. And if she hadn't been in love with him before… She tensed slightly at the thought.

"You okay, Kens?" He queried softly.

"Yeah. I'm good." When he grinned at her patent response she quickly went on. "No, really. Tonight was amazing. It felt really good to help even if I hardly did anything. Sarah's amazing. The girl's are amazing. This place is amazing." Her voice was quiet when she added. "You're amazing."

Deeks cocked his head slightly to one side and studied her face. There were a lot of things he wanted to say in response but being Deeks he used a little humor to keep the moment light.

"Then we know this is the perfect place for you Wonder Woman, cause you're the most amazing woman I've ever known." His words might have been light but there was no doubt in Kensi's mind that he meant them and that made her smile.

They stood together for a moment more and then slowly drifted back into the Mission. Things were winding down inside and in short order the place was clean, tidy and ready for another round. Miss Mary thanked them both warmly and told Kensi she hoped to see her again soon. Kensi was speaking to Mary but never took her eyes off Deeks when she replied.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Thank you for all you do, Mary." After a couple more huge Miss Mary hugs they found themselves back in the car.

The trip was quiet. They were both tired after a long, physically challenging week at work and the emotionally charged evening they'd shared.

At one point Kensi asked a question that had been bothering her. "If you don't mind saying, what did you give Sarah?"

"You jealous, Fern?" he asked with a grin.

Instead of a teasing retort, Kensi went for honest. "No. I trust you, Deeks. Just curious."

Her answer touched him and he wanted her to know it. "Thanks," he said his voice suddenly serious. "That means a lot to me." Then after a brief smile in her direction, he went on. "I gave Sarah gift cards. The rules of the Mission say that volunteers can't give the folks money. It's too easy for some of them to use it improperly – to put it nicely. The cards prevent a lot of that and are easy to use and carry. They can still be stolen but that's just the way it is. I bet nearly every volunteer at the Mission has a family or two, or three they help out. But you have to be really careful. It can burn you out and sometimes your generosity is taken advantage of for sure."

Deeks took a deep breath and leaned his head back again the seat. "Sarah's doing okay. She can cover the big stuff like rent and utilities. She uses the Mission day care for the kids and she actually owns her car, so she's ahead of a lot of people. But she doesn't always have time to go to the food bank and she needs diapers and stuff for the kids. So I give her a grocery store card and a gas card. She says it really helps." Deeks shrugged. "I hope it does. Sometimes it doesn't seem like enough."

Deeks finished talking as they pulled up in front of his apartment. Any other time Kensi would be starting to freak out about the intensity of the time they'd just spent together and what would happen next. Now she was thinking about what Marty had said and all that she had seen and learned tonight. When he leaned toward her and slipped his hand gently behind her neck, it was natural. She relaxed into his hand and returned his gentle kiss.

"I had a great time with you tonight Agent Blye." He said softly. "I hope we can do it again soon."

"Me too, Detective Deeks." With that Kensi kissed him once again, as gently and briefly as before. As she pulled away she emphasized, "Me too."

Deeks stepped out of the car and before he closed the door he said, "Will you text me when you're home safe?" Kensi nodded in reply and then he was gone.

Kensi was home sitting on her couch mulling over the evening when she remembered her promise. She sent him a quick text and then headed into her room to change. She brushed her teeth and braided her hair and was about to climb into bed when she remembered to retrieve her phone from the coffee table.

Checking her messages she read his response.

"Thanks for tonight. I had a blast. Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Kensi couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face as she hit send on a message that read, "Seriously?"

"Yes"

"OK"

"Nice. I'll call you tomorrow. Night."

"Night."

**Another installment for your enjoyment - I hope. Thanks for the kind reviews and directives! I have a few more ideas for this. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts - please.**


	3. Chapter 3

Not Alone

Chapter Three

"This is the dumbest idea ever!" The thought would not stop running through Kensi's mind. In all her years as an agent she had never dated a coworker. She knew she was playing with fire. She knew that things could go dreadfully wrong and she knew that she could possibly lose one of her best friends. But she didn't care.

Well, she did care. A lot. But according to her calculations it was worth the risk.  
>Okay, if she admitted the truth to herself – she couldn't help it. Couldn't make herself walk away. Because, she thought, with a mental deep breath, she wanted this, wanted to try. She was willing to accept the risk to give this a chance.<p>

Deeks on the other hand was just happy. Oh, he knew the dangers as well as Kensi did, but chose to ignore them. Well, to push them aside and refuse to acknowledge them. He believed that if he didn't think about them they would have no power. That was his story and he was stickin' to it.

When he finally opened his eyes on Saturday morning, Deeks wasn't completely sure that what he thought he remembered about last night had really happened. Yes, he was sure that he and Kensi had spent some time helping out at the Mission. He was sure that he'd watched Kensi read a story with two of his favorite little girls, and he was sure that Kensi now knew Sarah and her story. But had he really kissed her and lived? Did they really have a dinner date tonight or was it just another of his many dreams featuring his favorite super hero?

He slowly rolled out of bed and headed to the kitchen for coffee. He needed a clear head to figure this out.

After a couple cups of coffee Deeks was sure. The grin wouldn't leave his face. About nine o'clock he sent Kensi a text asking her to call him when she wanted to figure out their plans for the evening.

"What would you like to do? Where would you like to go? What time frame are you thinking of? Do you want to dress up? Have a picnic? Go to a movie?

They spent a hilarious half an hour laughing and talking about the possibilities for their date. After the first ten minutes, they both realized that, although they would eventually need to settle on a plan, talking about things they would like to do together was fun in itself.

"Okay then. I'll pick you up at six."

"What? You're driving? No way, I want to drive."

"Kensi, I asked you out. This is a real date, so I get to drive."

There was complete silence. Had he just said that? Was it so bad? Why wasn't she snapping back at him? Deeks' mind raced and he was holding his breath, which he let out with a whoosh when he heard her say, "Okay, but next time I get to drive."

"Yeah. Good. Next time." Not only had Deeks just gotten his way for once, she had as much as admitted there would be a next time. He was a happy man.

Kensi spent her day pretty much the way she always spent her Saturdays off. Because they worked so many odd hours with limited days off, she had a system to get mandatory chores and tasks completed efficiently. So by lunchtime she was well into her laundry routine and was nearly finished with cleaning her apartment. Time had flown by while she was distracted by her swirling thoughts.

Next on her list was the grocery store. As she jumped in the car, she remembered her conversation with Deeks about who would be the driver tonight. Instead of her usual feelings of irritation or disappointment at not getting to drive, she thought instead about his other comment. He had called tonight a real date. She should be freaking out right about now but wasn't. She should be second-guessing this whole idea. But she wouldn't. She really could not explain her feelings or her sense of calm. She was excited and a little nervous but overall she was just happy.

"How dumb does that sound?" she said quietly to herself as she pulled into the grocery store parking lot. The only response she got was a headshake and a grin.

Deeks decided that the best way to pass the time and stay calm was to go surfing. He rarely surfed in the middle of the day, preferring early, early mornings or evenings. His apartment was sparsely furnished and he spent so little time at home that there was little upkeep necessary. To him it was basically a place to sleep and he felt very little attachment to it. He did do a little cooking but usually ate fresh stuff and picked up fruits and veggies from the market a couple times a week. The rest of his meals were take-out or fast food. It was a balance that worked and gave him as much time as possible to surf. The exercise he got from surfing and running, plus time in the gym at work, kept him in excellent shape.

Kensi and Deeks both included a short nap into their plans for the day – each lying in their own space, thinking about the other. They would have been freaked out if they had known. Some things are better not to know.

Kensi had finished her shower and dried and fixed her hair. She stood at the mirror to apply her makeup and she actually smiled at herself as she remembered the discussions that eventually lead to their plans for tonight. "How bout we go to "the happiest place on earth"? He'd asked her.

"Wow. I haven't been to Disneyland since I was a kid. I actually went with my dad last time."

"Well, I happen to believe that the Magic Kingdom is one place that is more fun the older you get. I actually worked there for a summer. I was working full time at a restaurant but wanted to make more money, so a buddy of mine got me a job. I worked early mornings, like 4 to 8 am. I unloaded freight trucks and moved supplies all over the park. It was pretty fun – great big machines, lots of pretty girls." She remembered that she'd felt a little pang when he's said that.

He had chuckled briefly and then added, "plus I had time to surf. A man needs to remember what's important."

"The economy wasn't great, so at one point they offered all employees a lifetime membership for four easy payments of one hundred dollars, deducted straight out of our checks. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with my life. I was still thinking about being a cop or being a lawyer. I wouldn't have had a clue where my next meal was coming from if I hadn't worked in a restaurant. So I decided to buy the membership. I figured that way, no matter what happened, I'd always have a place to go for entertainment, with clean bathrooms, air conditioning and lots of benches to sleep on. It was my idea of the perfect retirement plan. I worked there just long enough to pay for my membership and I have never regretted it. I got my moneys worth a long time ago and plan to keep using it forever. I still love to go! You interested?"

Only Deeks would have a lifetime pass to Disneyland.

"Yeah. It sounds great." Kensi was hesitant when she spoke and Deeks knew he needed to find out why before they went any further.

"Okay. That was not a resounding response. We can go anyplace. Something bugging you?"

"No. It's nothing. Really." Kensi bit her lip and was glad they were talking on the phone so he couldn't see her. At first she really didn't know what was making her uncomfortable and then it hit her.

"Kensi," he said in a quiet, serious voice. "I really want to spend time with you and I can do that anywhere. So, please be honest with me and tell me what you're thinking. We can do this but we talk to each other."

There was a pause that made Marty a little nervous before she drew in a determined breath and spoke again.

"Deeks, I don't want to go somewhere with you that you've already been with a dozen other girls."

Her words stung. He was, what, embarrassed that what she said made so much sense? Or stunned that she had been so honest with her answer? He figured it didn't matter, but that his response to her needed to be as truthful as hers was to him.

"You know Kensi, you're right. I have been a lot of times, mostly with groups of friends but sometimes on a date. Thanks for being honest with me about this. I don't expect you to believe me now, but someday I hope we'll be in a place where we can go to the park and you'll know that being there with you will be the only time that matters. That sounds stupid, but I know it will be true. So, can I have a rain check?"

"Yeah," there was a moment of silence, " I hope you're right Deeks." Her voice was just a little wistful.

They had finally decided to go to a local "off Broadway" comedy club that was having an improv night, followed by dinner at a nice restaurant nearby.

Kensi suddenly realized that she'd been daydreaming in the mirror longer than she should have. He was supposed to arrive to pick her up in fifteen minutes.

Deeks-her-partner-at-work was pretty casual about his timing but she had a feeling that tonight, Deeks-her-date would be right on time and she grinned to herself when she heard a knock at 5:59.

When Kensi opened the door she felt a wave of color start to climb her cheeks. Later, she wouldn't be able to decide if it was the look on his face, the flowers in his hands, or the clothes that he was wearing that caused her reaction, but she did know it didn't matter. He nearly took her breath away just standing at her door.

When Kensi opened the door, Marty felt a rush of something that was not familiar. He expected her to look good – she always looked good to him, but tonight she sparkled. It was a word he would never have associated with her but tonight it was the right word and he desperately wanted her to know how amazing she looked. How amazing she made him feel.

"Damn. Kensi you're gorgeous." His words were so genuine that even Kensi knew he meant them. He just stood at the door with his mouth open and looked at her.

She was trying to put together a funny comeback line that would tone down the intensity, but instead was shocked when she heard herself say, " Wow, Marty, you look amazing."

It was a moment that should have been difficult for both of them. Instead they smiled at each other. That was easy. Deeks held out the bouquet and Kensi took it. The tension was broken and they were back to normal – but normal was new again.

"Thanks. Come in. I'll put these in water."

Leaving the comedy club several hours later, Kensi's ribs hurt from laughing. As they walked toward the parking lot, Deeks offered her his elbow and she tucked her hand into his arm. They were strolling and talking about some of the things they'd found the funniest, still laughing. They started to skirt around a group that had stopped to take pictures of each other near the club's sign. Suddenly, Marty tugged on Kensi's arm.

"Come on. Let's see if they'll take a picture of us." He shot her a huge grin. "We definitely need documentation of this night, don't you think?"

Kensi's initial reaction was that of a federal agent, but on second thought she shrugged and smiled back at him. "It might be nice. Maybe someday we can actually show it to someone." Instead of a teasing or exasperated tone, her voice sounded almost hopeful.

Marty stepped forward and spoke to one of the revelers and in moments there was a picture of the two of them, Marty with his arm around her pulling her close, and Kensi leaning happily against his side, on each of their phones. They thanked the photographers and exchanged back slaps and waves as they walked away.

"Do you wish you could show somebody that picture now?" Marty wasn't really fishing for information as much as acknowledging their special circumstances with his question. "Does all the top secret stuff ever get you down?"

Kensi took a while to answer. There were a lot of aspects to their lives and jobs. Some she loved and some she hated. But overall…

" I guess I'd like to be able to tell the team, and we could I guess. It's not against NCIS rules. But I'm kind of glad we get to have this to ourselves for a while." After a pause she asked. "What about you?"

"I agree. I want us, you and me together, to be separate from us, you and me as partners, for a while. Seems like we need to figure a few things out before we have to start taking crap about it from our coworkers." He smiled.

They both looked down at the phones in their hands. The photos were there, smiling up at them. Tangible proof. They looked at each other and laughed, then both said together. "I'm starving!"

**Is anybody getting tired of this fluff? Actually I hope you enjoy it as much as I like writing it. Maybe a little angst in the next chapter? Reviews make me smile, thanks for the smiles!**


	4. Chapter 4

Not Alone

Chapter Four

"Damn it!" Deeks jumped to his feet. "We need to get in there!"

"No! She's alright. Sit down Deeks." When he noticed that Deeks was still moving toward the door, he added with a growl. " That's an order!" Callen rarely used that don't-mess-with-me tone.

"She's not alright. She just got smacked in the face by a two hundred forty pound thug and now she's bleeding out a hole in her lip."

"I can see that, Deeks." Callen's tone was calmer now. "But she's got it under control. She hasn't used her safe word. Do you know how pissed she would be at you if you blew her cover at this point? She's just about to get the info we need and then this will be over. So, _sit down_." The last words were said with clear emphasis.

Marty slumped back into his chair. He and Callen were Kensi's backup. They sat in a nondescript van in the corner of a nearby parking lot, using Eric's marvelous technology to see and hear everything Kensi did. Sam, the proverbial waiter, was inside wearing a burgundy jacket and feeling grumpy. The case was going well and Callen was right, they were just about to break it.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Deeks was reassured that Kensi really was okay, at least for now.

"Hey, Callen. I was out of line…"

Callen interrupted him. "Deeks, I don't want to know what's going on between you and Kensi. You know I love her like a sister and I want her to be happy. If you can make her happy," there was a long pause, "I'm good with that. But you need to get this straight right now, if you can't let her do her job without freaking out then one of you will end up hurt or worse. "

Some of the anger faded from his voice as he continued. "Kensi is a good agent, Deeks, one of the best I've ever worked with. You know that. Sometimes it's hard to work with her because she pushes herself too hard and never steps away from a dangerous situation. But she really does know her limits and I have seen her change in the last few years. She's finally learned to stop and ask for help when she really needs it. This job is not safe for any of us. Deal with it or don't. But decide!"

Just after midnight, they'd gotten the break they needed and within an hour the main characters were on their way to the boatshed with Sam and Callen for interrogations.

Deeks was driving his partner to the hospital. The slap she'd received had put one of her bottom teeth through her lip. It was swollen, very sore and probably needed a couple stitches. Kensi was tired and her face hurt but she was aware that something else was wrong.

"Hey. You're quiet," she said softly to Deeks. "You okay?"

"Isn't that supposed to be my question?" He tried to relax his white-knuckle grip and sound convincing but he knew Kensi wasn't buying it.

"What happened? Callen was really pissy too. Did you guys have a fight?"

"Kensi, you spent less than a minute with Callen tonight. I think it's a stretch for you to assume that something happened between us." Marty drummed his fingers against the wheel and hoped she'd drop the subject. He knew they would have to discuss this, but he really hoped to have a little control over where, when and how it took place.

"I'm waiting."

Deeks groaned. "Can't we talk about this in the morning? A little rest, clearer heads – you know?"

"No. What happened?"

Deeks looked over at the amazing woman in the seat next to him. He still wondered multiple times a day what he had done to deserve her affection. He was in awe of her and sometimes the fear he felt at the thought of losing her made it impossible to breathe.

They were working hard at being honest and really talking with each other. Neither of them had a lot of experience in either area but they were getting better and it was helping to get them through some of the tough moments.

Marty drew a long, slow breath and dove in. "I'm not proud of this, but at the same time I'm not ashamed of it either. Tonight I had to sit and watch a perp slap you and when the blood started to run down your face I kind lost perspective." He glanced at her expecting an irritated look in response, but was surprised to see only fondness.

"Okay, so I wanted to throw open the door, ride to your rescue and give that guy back what he gave you and more. Callen, of course, showed me the error of my plan- in no uncertain terms. He also mentioned that I consider how angry you would be if we blew your cover so close to breaking the case. He basically said that whatever you and I have going on outside of work needs to stay outside or I'm going to get you hurt."

"He really said that?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

They were quiet for a while, both lost in thought. Kensi reached over and put her hand on his knee before she spoke again.

When she began to speak Deeks snapped his head toward her. He had no idea she was crying but her voice was heavy with tears. The sight of her face made his heart ache in his chest.

"I can't do this Marty."

It was very late and the streets were nearly empty. He swung the car to the curb and killed the engine. He reached across the seat for her shoulder but she shrugged him away.

"No. I mean it." The tears were streaming down her face. " I can't lose you. I can't lose another partner. I can't.

Kensi struggled to breathe, struggled to control her voice.

"We both knew from the beginning that this would be hard. I already worry for you – which is bad enough, but I can't worry about you too. I have to know that you'll take care of you while I take care of me – so that at the end of the night we can be together. "

"I can do this job, Deeks. You know that right? It's true there are days I need to be rescued. I have this amazing team and these amazing friends that I know will be there when I do. But they trust me enough to let me exhaust my skills and abilities first, even if it means I get an occasional fat lip. Deeks, I never really felt threatened tonight. He hit me for effect. He didn't want me badly hurt because he thought he was going to take me to bed later. Is that what's really bothering you?"

Marty was silent. Kensi's words sent a jolt of pain and disgust through him. They had talked about the dangers of their jobs many times, and he thought he had it covered. His own reaction tonight was a surprise. Now he realized that Callen was right. He and Kensi wouldn't be able to continue to work together unless he could pull it together. It had bothered him that he couldn't put his finger on why he had reacted so strongly. Kensi's words were a flash of painful clarity.

Marty felt awful. He was disgusted with himself and embarrassed at the same time. What a fool. It was worse that he hadn't seen it himself. His stomach was tied in a knot and he wanted to curl up into a ball and cry himself to sleep. Some federal agent he was – he wasn't even a good cop.

He looked out the driver's window trying to keep Kensi from seeing his face – from knowing just what her words had done to him. He knew she was tough as nails and that she would never want a relationship with a guy that was weak and stupid. He felt sick.

Deeks was about to reach for the door handle. He needed to get out of here. He told himself he needed a little air. Then he'd take her to the hospital, get her fixed up, take her home, tuck her in and say goodbye. He could fill out the paper work to return to LAPD in the morning. Then she'd be safe...

"Marty, look at me," she said gently. She had moved closer to him and he could feel her breath on his shoulder when she spoke. "I know you're thinking awful things about yourself right now, but they're not true. I want you to hear my perspective on this before you run away, okay?"

How did she know? Why could she read him like a book? He knew he was not going to avoid this conversation and at least he could be close to her awhile longer.

"Thank you for wanting to rescue me."

That was not what he was expecting to hear.

"I've never been a princess waiting for a knight in shining armor to come riding over the hill. For a long time, I didn't want a knight at all. Then when I thought a big handsome dude with a white horse and a deep voice might be nice," she paused and he saw her smile at him, "I was sure I'd never find one that would want me."

"But it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind and I did. I met a guy that accepts me as I am - a man who supports my lifestyle and is comfortable with the fact that I am not like other women. Things could be a lot worse than falling for a guy that cares too much."

They sat in silence. Marty had actually heard her. His angst began to fade. His desperation grew slightly less. After several minutes, he was finally able to meet her eyes.

Kensi's eyes always told the truth. He had learned that what he saw in her face was fact. It was a good thing the bad guys didn't know her like he did. If they could read the messages she was sending she would fail as an agent. But Deeks knew. Now, when he looked at her face, he knew she was certain, that she was convinced that this was going to be okay. They would be okay. That he was the first one to break down and freak out over their unusual relationship didn't surprise him. When he was being honest, he knew she was tougher - knew she was stronger in so many ways.

When she spoke again she startled him from his thoughts.

"Marty, when I saw you in the boatshed with Nicole, I thought it was going to kill me. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to scream at her and hurt her. It really was the first time I have ever felt that way. And then when you kissed her…

I thought part of me died."

As she met his gaze, her eyes again filled with tears. A single tear rolled slowly down her cheek and he brushed it gently away. Their eyes were locked and never wavered.

"I know you had feelings for Nicole. I had feelings for Jack. We both have baggage. But I believe that you and I have something bigger. You're good at the things I'm not. You make me laugh and you make me feel pretty. You support me even when I outrun you or outshoot you and then you still want to protect me. It feels nice. Unnecessary," she said with a smirk, "but nice."

"I hope you can know that when I'm at work and I need to come on to some guy, it's always going to be an act. When I was trying to flirt with that guy tonight – I thought about you."

Deeks finally had to smile. Kensi was telling the truth and he knew it. He was a fool and they both knew it. Hearing her say aloud that she would do what she had to do, (and was so very capable, of doing) to trap a male suspect made Deeks' pain dwindle – not vanish – just drop to a manageable level. He knew that as long as they were together he would have moments of jealously. But if they could talk about, if he could share those moments with her – maybe he could handle it.

"You have changed my life Marty Deeks. Please don't leave me."

Although she tried to say the words lightly, Marty heard the anguish behind them.

"Kensi, I'm really sorry I doubted you. I have no intention of leaving you. Next time you wish I'd disappear off the face of the earth I want you to remember this conversation." He grinned briefly but grew serious again. "I really think I can learn to handle myself when you're in danger _and_ when you're working your magic on some guy. I will try to remember that at the end of the day you won't be going home with him."

The both laughed just a little.

"But if I can't do it Kensi. If the team feels like I'm putting anyone in danger then I'll transfer back to LAPD. If that's what it takes for us to be together we'll make it work. And it will be totally worth it if I can still hang out with the hottest, most beautiful woman in law enforcement!

"Just in law enforcement?"

"I'm just saving a little room for later." After a quick exchange of grins, Deeks added. "Now I think it's time to get your pretty little lip stitched up so that I can spend a long time kissing it better."

**This has been a really long, difficult week. Whine. But a little Kensi and Deeks helps, right? Your kind reviews help too! Thank you for all of them.**


	5. Chapter 5

Not Alone

Chapter Five

The ER had been a total mad house. It was LA on the weekend and it was wild. Even with their law enforcement privileges they had to wait over an hour before they saw a doctor. He was pleasant but insisted that, because it was her face, Kensi needed to be seen by a plastic surgeon – which meant another wait.

"No way," Kensi whined. "You can do it. I really don't care if I have a scar. I have lots of scars." She was tired and willing to beg.

"Hey, Kens. I think you should wait." Deeks knew what would come next but figured it was worth it.

"Oh, so it matters to you what my face looks like? Don't want to be seen with a flawed partner, huh?" She was smirking at him but he could see just a hint of doubt in her questioning look.

"No, Kensi. You will be beautiful to me for as long as you draw breath." He flashed her his easy, honest smile. "But it _will_ matter to me if you wake up one of these days and hate the scar on your chin. It's worth the wait to make sure that doesn't happen. Okay?"

"Yeah, I guess…" She sounded like a tired child and it made Marty feel warm inside.

"Here," he said patting his thigh, "put your head down and have a little nap. You won't even know you're waiting."

The sky was beginning to lighten by the time they approached her apartment. Hetty had called and given them until one o'clock to come in to work. The adrenaline from the case was long gone and they were both just beat.

Deeks opened the passenger door and offered his hand to help a pale, limp Kensi out of the car. He chuckled quietly as he wrapped his arm around her and steered her towards her apartment.

"What are you laughing at Mister wide-awake-and-ready-to-surf?" She asked around a huge yawn.

"I was just thinking that if I wasn't such a gentleman I could probably take advantage of you now. Seeing that you're in a weakened condition and all." He was talking quietly into her hair as they walked.

"No way Deeks. I could still take you." She was about to say something else but had to stop for another yawn, this one bigger than the first.

He bumped her hip with his. "I only want you when you want me just as much, Kens. I'm good with waiting."

His sudden seriousness made her lift her head and meet his eyes.

Kensi hadn't been expecting a serious conversation at this hour, but decided now was as good a time as any.

"Thanks…I think." She gave him a lopsided grin. "I like that we can spend time together and figure out how our new "thing" is going to work. I know we've spent thousands of hours together but now it's different."

There was a stretch of silence as they continued walking slowly. "I feel like we need to be really sure that we can handle this relationship before we take it to the next level. I know it's dumb and probably proves I'm chicken, but I still want to be able to work with you if we can't. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to after we…"

"Sleep together? You are finding it hard to resist me, aren't you?" Marty tried to put on his player face, but his smirk faded and he pulled her into his arms and held her tight against his chest.

"Kensi, I meant it when I said I'm good with waiting. Don't get me wrong; I look forward to the day… I've been thinking about that day for a long, long time. Way longer than is probably appropriate."

They both laughed softly and he rocked her gently from side to side almost like they were dancing. He buried his face into her neck and lost his train of thought briefly, then pulled back enough that he could see her face again.

"Am I making any sense here? I'm saying we can wait as long as it takes, Kensi. I enjoy just being with you. I'm not going anywhere."

Kensi nodded and then watched as a gentle smile spread over his face. She loved to look into the deep blue of his eyes, for the moment they were tranquil. She realized this new feeling of contentment was something that she just might be willing to get used to.

They turned and resumed their walk toward the door and Kensi yawned again.

"Are you hungry?" He called through the door. Kensi slipped her legs into an old pair of sweats before she answered.

"I'm too tired to eat." She wandered into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. When she opened the door she was startled to see Marty pulling the covers down on her bed.

"Climb in Princess." He teased as he held the blankets up for her.

She slipped in with a groan that came from her toes.

"How's the face?"

"Feels like somebody slapped me." They laughed at the irony of this all too frequent conversation.

"Yeah, I bet it does." Marty sat on the edge of the bed and just looked at her.

"Hey," Kensi exclaimed. "I don't remember anybody following through on a certain promise to kiss it better. Do you?"

Without hesitation Marty lowered his head and placed multiple gentle kisses over her chin, then moved upward and found her lips. Kensi's hand reached behind his neck and held him close.

Finally, he pulled away.

"I think, due to your weakened condition, it would be better if you didn't try to drive yourself to work today." His grin kept her from an indignant response. "I'll come by and pick you up – and I'll even bring lunch." He gave her one more lingering kiss before he stood up. "Sleep well, Wonder Woman." It was the last thing she remembered.

Kensi woke feeling like she'd been hit by a truck. Although she often woke after a tough day at work feeling stiff and sore, this time it took her a second or two to remember how she'd earned these superior aches and pains. Her memory returned quickly as she thought about the op. She reached up and gingerly touched her sore chin and then smiled when she remembered her conversations with Deeks afterwards.

As she was busy with her thoughts, she heard a sound coming from her kitchen and automatically reached for the weapon she kept behind the headboard of her bed. At precisely that time, there was a soft knock on the door and it began to swing open.

"You awake, Kensi?" He carried a pan from the kitchen that he was using as a serving tray. It was loaded with sub sandwiches, chips and drinks. When he noticed her hand behind the headboard he flashed her his widest grin. "Don't shoot me. I have food."

"Good thing, or I would." Kensi tried to sound irritated but the look of delight on her face gave her away.

Dropping the pretext she smiled happily up at him. "Wow. That looks good." Looking at the laden tray she added with a laugh, "Didn't you get anything for yourself?"

"Well, you did work hard last night."

Setting his load down near the foot of the bed, he moved up to where she was propped against the pillows and bent to kiss her. She pulled away sharply.

"What…?"

"I haven't brushed my teeth," she said looking down and away from him.

"And I don't care."

He kissed her firmly, with his hand against her face holding her steady. When she finally relaxed and returned his kiss, he pulled back slightly and placed a trio of soft kisses to her bruised and slightly swollen chin. The doctor had done the suturing from inside and there were only adhesive strips securing the skin.

"Good morning Agent Blye," he said with a brilliant grin.

They made it to their desks by the deadline Hetty had given them - barely. Sam was nowhere to be seen but Callen was doing paperwork and looking very bored. He brightened visibly when they arrived and Kensi knew that the crap was about to start. He looked downright gleeful. She steeled herself, trying to psyche herself up to deny, argue and maybe even lie. Then she looked over at Deeks' desk. He was just sitting there staring at her with that genuinely stupid look on his face. Oh forget this!

Kensi walked up to stand in front of Callen's desk until she was sure she had his undivided attention. Then she spun around on her heels, walked over to where Deeks was seated – and planted a kiss soundly on his gorgeous, smiling mouth. When she turned to return to her own desk, she realized with a start, that Hetty had entered the room and was watching their antics with a slightly bemused expression. She held Kensi's gaze just long enough and then spoke without moving. "Mr. Deeks, my office please."

No one noticed that Sam had also entered and was now sitting at his desk until they all heard his familiar voice. "Busted."

Kensi opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. Then repeated the motions several more times before she looked at Marty and mouthed the word, "sorry." He only grinned at her and shrugged.

As he followed his diminutive boss down the hall, Deeks considered whether or not he should be worried. Maybe he should. This certainly had the potential to cause waves in his world – some of which might be big and powerful enough to knock him on his ass. But when he really thought about it, the worry just wouldn't stick. The worst they could do to him was send him back to LAPD and he'd already told Kensi that he was willing to do that if necessary. He wanted desperately to be the one to have her back. - to be a partner that really cared. If he could, he'd stay here and work with this team that he had grown to trust and care about (even though he never intended for them to know that). If he couldn't, he'd still have Kensi. He was sure that, at the very least, they were in a place where they would try.

"Mr. Deeks, I appreciate your taking your partner to the hospital last night and seeing her safely home afterwards. I understand that her injuries are minor and that the doctors expect a full recovery." Hetty's expression gave nothing away and Marty decided that his best bet was to keep his mouth shut as much as possible, so he nodded.

"I suppose that after Ms. Blye's display of affection toward you, I can assume that you two are seeing each other outside of the workplace, unless that was a joke to startle your coworkers?" Hetty cocked her head slightly while she waited for him to answer.

"Yes we are Hetty, and it's no joke." He was still hoping that the less he said, the less trouble he would get them into. As he spoke, he met her gaze. This might be a slightly uncomfortable conversation, but he was not going to act like he was ashamed – because he wasn't.

They stood looking at each other for what seemed like eternity. Hetty was fiercely protective of her agents, both at work and as her surrogate family. She had watched the relationship between Kensi and Deeks grow from the very beginning. There had been several occasions when she considered splitting them up, sending Marty back to LAPD. She had decided that was not in the best interest of her team or her agents, but if pressed she would have admitted that this was dangerous ground.

Finally, she straitened herself to her full height – Deeks would have laughed if this wasn't such an important moment – and spoke.

"Mr. Deeks, you have become an important part of this team. I know there have been times when you doubted your place here and wondered if things might not be easier if you returned to your former employ. But you stayed and worked through the difficulties. I know that a great part of your motivation to remain with us is standing in the other room with stitches in her lip. This team is my family Mr. Deeks and I will do anything in my power to protect it."

Hetty's bluntness had Marty's full attention. This was not how he'd expected this conversation to go.

"Considering the changes in your relationship with Ms. Blye are you convinced that you can continue to work together successfully? I ask this for many reasons, Mr. Deeks, all of which center around my concerns for my team."

Marty started to answer immediately but stopped himself. He wanted to treat Hetty and her concerns with the same respect she was showing him. He thought about his actions in the van when Kensi had been hit. He thought about the Russians and the guy with the frying pan. He thought about the progress he and Kensi had made in being there for each other, and in sharing their thoughts. He thought about her reading to Blyth and Lydia. Then he thought about her throwing caution to the wind and kissing him in front of Callen – and as it turned out, Sam and Hetty.

"Hetty, I'm as sure as I can be that Kensi and I can still work together as a safe and effective team. I know you guys will be there to point out our mistakes," he grinned at her for the first time since they'd started talking, "and I promise we will listen."

There was a very long pause before he finished. " I hope you have enough faith in us to give us a chance. But whatever you decide, we'll respect."

Hetty seemed to have gotten what she needed from the conversation. She smiled at him when she finally said, "Always remember Mr. Deeks. We all have guns and know how to use them." With that she turned on her heel and padded away without a backward glace.

Moments later, Deeks slid into the chair behind his desk. He could feel each and every eye in the room watching him expectantly. After a slight pause for effect, he raised his eyes to meet Kensi's and flashed her a wink and a grin. She lowered her head quickly and acted as though she were interested in the file on her desk. But he could see the smile that she couldn't stop as it spread across her face.

**Baby steps, baby steps. Trying to keep things realistic but mostly happy because I am a sap! Hope this continues to add a bright moment or two to your day. Love to hear your thoughts as always. Thank you for reading**


	6. Chapter 6

Not Alone

Chapter Six

The next several weeks passed without incident. Kensi would occasionally freak out over the normalness and ease of their growing relationship and Marty would talk her down from the ledge. But it was happening less and less and she was starting to feel a new sense of security knowing he was always there for her.

Team dynamics changed very little. Sam and Callen would occasionally shake their heads and roll their eyes at something one or the other would do or say. They tried to be very careful not to embarrass themselves or make the others uncomfortable, but occasionally failed. At one point Callen feigned putting his finger down his throat and gagging when he caught them in a kiss while they were supposed to be working out in the gym, but, overall, things were turning into a new and workable normal.

Then he went undercover.

His hair and growing beard were dyed black. He wore a faded leather jacket with patches that represented some of the most evil people in LA. His arms were tattooed (guaranteed to last 90 days or your money back); one with the jawbone and teeth of a shark that covered his elbow and made the jaw seem to open and close as he moved, and the other with a spiraling rose and barbed wire that wound around and around his forearm.

Kensi couldn't describe the way she felt the first time she saw him as Victor. It was a total shock to her. Her mind just didn't get it. First, she knew him, but then she didn't. It was an excellent disguise.

He had been in the field almost two weeks. In the beginning she missed him so much it scared her. She was professional at work, of course. She hated it when she caught Callen or Sam watching her. They were somewhere between worried and sympathetic about the situation, mostly they tried to be kind – all of which made Kensi uncomfortable. But after the first few days, things calmed down and returned to as routine as their jobs ever were.

One afternoon after a particularly boring day, Kensi was gathering her things to head for home, when Eric appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Hey, Kensi. I've got a phone call up here that you might want to take." That was all he said before he turned away from the rail and disappeared.

Curiosity battled with her desire to go home and crash on the couch as she headed upstairs. She entered the room with a sigh and Eric pointed her toward a computer with a set of headphones. Kensi flopped into the chair and put the headphones firmly in place before she said in her most profession voice. "This is a

Agent Blye. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Well, I can think of any number of things I'd like your help with about now."

Kensi's whole body responded to the sound of his voice and she was glad she was sitting down and that no one could see her face.

When she spoke again, her voice had a huskiness that was not just surprise, or even desire, but was mostly just relief.

"Hey, Deeks. What's up? You okay?" Her words poured out in a jumble and he chuckled at her.

"Yeah. No worries, I'm fine. Can't really talk now but I hear there's a great movie playing at your favorite theater. Screen seven at 9:55. You in?"

"I'm definitely in."

"Good. Gotta go."

Kensi sat starring at the empty screen with the silent headphones still on. She realized that she was smiling so big that her face was starting to hurt. Suddenly self-conscious, she pulled the headphones off and spun around in the chair. To her horror, but not surprise, she was met with five smiling faces, all of which broke into full-blown laughter when they saw the color rush up her cheeks.

"I live in a fish bowl." She tried to scowl and look angry, but just couldn't, so instead she laughed with them. Later, when she thought about it, she knew it was really good to have friends.

Kensi drove to the theater by an even more roundabout way than normal. She left her house just after nine and drove east for about fifteen minutes. She went through a drive through and picked up a burger and fries for herself and an extra, just in case. Then she drove to a small park with excellent visibility and ate.

After dinner, she drove north before she drove west… When she arrived at the theater she parked a good distance from the door but not in a place where her car stood out. She watched for ten minutes, got out, bought a ticket and then headed to the ladies room.

At 9:57 she emerged and entered at screen seven without even noticing what movie was playing. The room was nearly empty, with only a handful of teenagers near the front and a sprinkling of couples in the middle. Kensi stood near the back waiting for her eyes to adjust. When she felt a piece of popcorn hit her in the head, she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face.

Slipping into the seat next to him, Kensi's mind was in overdrive. She was once again, deeply startled by his appearance and at the same time nearly overcome by her need (_need? – yes need_,) to throw herself into his arms. He put his arm around her shoulders, pulled her close, and buried his face in her hair.

"You smell so good."

"I missed you too."

An hour and forty-seven short minutes later, Kensi reluctantly rose from her seat and left the theater. Deeks followed shortly, stopping by her car only long enough to grab the bag of fast food and whisper, "I love you Kensi Blye."

She couldn't believe her ears, or her eyes, when he turned and started to walk away. This wasn't the time or the place for this conversation but she'd be damned if she was going to miss this opportunity. In their world you might never get another chance.

"Hey." Her voice was soft, but insistent and he turned slowly back toward her. She knew instantly that he wasn't sure what she was going to say and was, what, preparing himself for the worst?

"I love you too."

Deeks drew in a deep breath and his whole body relaxed. Then the famous megawatt smile that Kensi loved so much, spread across his face. Their eyes met for the briefest moment before he turned and moved away. There was definitely a new spring in his step.

Seeing him was like food for her soul, and although it made her miss him more, it also made it easier to wait. Several more days passed uneventfully. There was enough work to keep everyone busy without exhaustion or endless boredom.

And then Eric leaned over the railing once again. "Kensi, up here."

Because it wasn't a request and because his voice was all business, Kensi knew this was unlikely to be another social call. Her heart rate picked up more than it should have over just a short flight of stairs. Especially when she saw Hetty waiting with him. Now she was concerned.

"What is it, Eric?"

He took a deep breath and gave her a strange look before he said, "Okay. There's a woman calling on Deeks' answering service routing number. Her name is Mary and she works with Deeks at the mission? Or something. Anyway, she says there's a minor emergency with, and I'm quoting here, 'Sarah's girls' and she needs to talk to Deeks about picking them up."

Eric and Hetty were the two people who worked most closely with the team. Because they weren't in the field, their jobs were often complicated by distance or incomplete information. It was up to them to support the agents and they were good at knowing how each would react in most situations. It was a big part of what made the team successful. This time, neither of them had _any_ idea how Kensi would respond to this call. If this information was news to her, she could take it very badly, but after a quick discussion they had decided she was the one to handle it.

They were both prepared for a lot of things – but not for Kensi's smile.

"Oh, no problem. I'll pick them up."

There was total silence as she moved to pick up the call. Hetty and Eric both shook their heads at each other and shrugged. Never a dull moment.

When Kensi arrived at the mission, Miss Mary's hug was even bigger than usual.

"Oh, Kensi, honey, thank you for rescuing us tonight." She was an effusive and kind woman, but she ran the mission on a tight rein- and was very good at her job. She wasted no time steering Kensi toward the day care center while providing her with the information she needed and still making her feel like she was the only person that mattered at that moment.

"Miss Sarah's lady, the one she looks after at night, fell and broke her hip. So, Sarah had to go with her to the hospital. The young woman who stays with the girls while Sarah works is away on a school trip. Jones is staying with a friend of Sarah's who has a boy just his age. I would just take the girls home with me, but I already have a family with teenage boys staying and it's just not a good match. Besides, there are no beds left." Mary smiled almost sadly. She seemed to be rambling, but Kensi knew everything she was telling her had a reason.

"Sarah thinks she'll need to stay until the woman's daughter can fly in and it looks like that won't be until Sunday afternoon." Mary paused and looked closely at Kensi. "I hope this isn't too much of a problem for you. I don't ask this kind of thing often, but I am truly desperate."

Kensi shook her head and assured Mary she had done the right thing by calling. "Marty would be here if he could, but he's working out of town. He will be so jealous when he hears I got to spend time with his girlfriends." They both laughed and Mary was finally certain this was going to work.

When they walked through the door of the day care, Blyth and Lydia were the only children left. The slightly frazzled teacher looked up with a tired smile and greeted Kensi warmly. The girls were quiet at first and Blyth even tried to hide behind her sister. Kensi got down on one knee and spoke to them quietly while Mary and the teacher moved around gathering backpacks and piles of books. By the time the women had everything ready, the girls were giggling and trying to talk over each other to get Kensi's attention. Everyone was smiling.

Miss Mary had packed each girl a change of clothes, a set of pajamas, and a toothbrush she'd gathered from the "clothes closet" sponsored by the mission. They were excited to show them to Kensi but agreed that would the first thing they would do when they got home. They were soon buckled safely into Kensi car, each clutching her special package, backpacks stowed in the trunk. Just before Kensi opened her door. Mary gave her one more, big hug and a card with phone numbers she could call if there were any problems. "But I'm sure you won't need them. You ladies are going to have a wonderful time." Kensi had to agree.

When Kensi found out she was going to be the adult responsible for two little girls, for two whole days, she had done several things. The first was to call a neighbor who had children about Lydia and Blyth's ages and ask for a care package of movies and toys for the weekend. The woman was startled that Kensi, of all people, was going to be babysitting, but had gladly agreed to pack a box and leave it on her porch. She was leaving on a play date with her own children.

The second was a trip to the grocery store where she bought food she was certain the girls would like. She bought the traditional mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and milk, but she also bought several different kinds of fruit and ingredients for both chocolate chip cookies and an Asian noodle stir-fry. Oh, and ice cream.

Before she left ops, it had been decided that Kensi would take the girls to Deeks' apartment instead of her own. Kensi actually knew her neighbors and suddenly showing up with two kids would attract attention and require multiple explanations. Deeks' complex was bigger and he spent so little time there that no one would notice the new faces.

They arrived at the apartment and Kensi and the girls carried all the bags and packages inside. While the girls put on a fashion show of their new clothes, Kensi fixed a simple dinner and before long the girls were dressed in their new pjs and all three of them were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie. When it ended Kensi was not surprised that both girls were sound asleep.

She extracted herself from the pile and carried them into the bedroom. As Kensi tucked them in carefully, each woke enough to wrap their arms around her neck and say goodnight but settled back into sleep immediately.

Kensi stood and watched them sleep for several minutes before she picked up the pillow from Marty's side of the bed, buried her nose in it for several deep breathes, smiled and headed for the couch.

The noise was out of place. Kensi was in an unfamiliar place. She reached for her gun on pure instinct and was standing with her weapon drawn and aimed at the intruder before she was fully awake.

"Kensi," he said slowly, drawing her name out. "Easy mama bear. It's me. I'm not going to hurt your cubs."

He saw the instant when recognition flashed through her. She started toward him, then remembered she was still pointing a gun at his head, turned 90 degrees, cleared her weapon, placed it on the coffee table and threw herself into his arms.

Deeks could feel her trembling as she held him in a fierce hug. Okay, so that hadn't gone particularly well, but he was certain risking his life was worth it if she was going to respond like this.

When their heart rates started to slow he spoke without lifting his face from her neck. "Kensi, I am so sorry. Hetty told me you'd be here. I thought letting myself in was better than knocking. Not the best idea I've ever had. You okay?"

"Wow. I haven't had an adrenaline rush like that in a really long time."

When he laughed, she drew back and looked at him with a hurt expression. "Are you making fun of me because I'm weak?"

"No. Kensi. No way. That's the response you're supposed to have when you're protecting your children. You are _so _not weak. You are totally fierce. And," he added in a whisper, "it's totally hot."

They laughed then, and clung to each other. They pulled apart a few times just enough to exchange heated kisses and then Kensi heard a deep rumble escape Deeks' stomach.

"Are you hungry?"

"Hungry doesn't even come close to what I am," he replied with a self-conscious shrug. "These people do not make food a priority."

Kensi put a hand on either side of his face and just looked at him. She gave him one more serious kiss before she moved away and into the kitchen. While she heated the leftovers from dinner, he made and ate two peanut butter and jam sandwiches. He finished the food Kensi handed him in record time and when he finally tore his eyes away from the empty plate she was standing in front of him with a bowl of ice cream in each hand. Heading toward the living room she looked a back over her shoulder and smiled.

"Well, are you coming?"

They ate in silence. Neither of them was hungry any longer, but wanted to do something together. By the time the bowls were empty, Marty's eyes were very heavy and it took all he had to not pull her into his arms and fall asleep. Instead he put his bowl on the table and stood beside the couch pulling her up next to him. They held each other briefly and he hummed softly in her ear.

"I really need to go."

"I know."

Their voices were deep and they still had so much they wanted to say to each other. This was the difficult stuff.

"Do you think I could see the girls before I go?" There was just a hint of begging to his voice.

"You can't wake them. Victor would scare them to death. He scares me bad enough." He stood looking at her with his head tilted slightly to one side until she finally caved. "Okay, I'll stand in front of you but if they wake up stay out of sight."

Kensi approached the bed and Marty followed, staying back in the deepest shadows of the room. When she smoothed Blyth's hair away from her face, she stirred and opened her eyes. "What's the matter Miss Kensi?" Is Momma here?"

"No, Sweetie everything's fine. Mr. Marty called to make sure you guys are alright.

A tiny smile appeared briefly on her face and as her eyes closed again she said, "Tell Mr. Marty we love him, okay?"

Before he slipped through the door and disappeared into the darkness, Kensi spoke. "Remember, your girls love you." After a pause she added, "All of them." Then she kissed his now smiling face and he was gone.

**Hmm. That was fun. You know I love to hear what you think! Thanks in advance for letting me know.**


	7. Chapter 7

Not Alone

Chapter Seven

_What exactly happened here? This was supposed to be simple. These people are not to deep thinkers. Drugs, sex and rock and roll, right? Well, they definitely have the drugs part right_.

These were some of the disjointed thoughts that ran through Detective Marty Deeks' head as he lay on his side, handcuffed to a dirty bed, with at the very least, a broken rib or two.

_What day is this? Where am I? Does anyone even know to look for me?_ _I am so too old for this._

His next thoughts were a list of which parts of him hurt but would have been shorter if he listed which parts didn't. But the thoughts that wouldn't stop, the ones that gave him the most pain but also his only solace, were thoughts of Kensi.

Deeks had been in difficult situations many times. In the past, he was almost stoical about the dangers of his job. Oh, he didn't want to die, rest assured, but accepted the possibility that he just might. This was different. He still wanted to live – oh baby did he want to live – but for himself he could deal. For the first time in, well maybe forever, he had someone else who would suffer at his loss. The reality of that thought made his head ache. It was the most Dr. Jekyll - Mr. Hyde thing his brain had ever tried to wrap itself around. He absolutely hated that Kensi would be sad and totally abhorred that he might be responsible for causing her pain. At the same time he was completely in awe that someone could care about him enough to suffer. A paradox indeed.

He was pretty certain that they didn't _know_ he was a cop or things would have been a lot worse by now. A totally strung out junkie, (one who he'd put in jail at lease twice) showed up and told anyone who would listen that Deeks was LAPD. Thankfully, his testimony didn't carry any weight and there was plenty of doubt concerning its correctness.

Just in case, they'd given Deeks a going over, a "light attitude adjustment", locked him up and sent for the guy they used to check out possible law enforcement.

It wasn't the worst situation he'd ever been in - or the best. He knew that if this go-to-guy identified him, things would turn ugly in a heartbeat. He could only lie here and hope that wouldn't happen. His greatest discomfort at the moment, beside the pain that shot through him with every breath, and the way his face itched as the abrasions started to heal, was his thirst. They'd taken him to the bathroom once or twice, but they wouldn't let him eat or drink. It was pretty standard procedure. Being really thirsty was a motivating thing.

His thoughts were interrupted when the door swung violently open and two men strode in. The light they brought with them into the dimly lit room made it difficult for Deeks to see clearly. One guy he recognized as a medium level drone from the gang. The second was tall, skinny and oily, with dark hair and sharp features. It brought Deeks a brief flash of relief that he didn't look familiar.

The tall, skinny guy was yelling at him and without warning swung his foot expertly, making contact with Marty's head.

From his confined position Deeks was slow to protect himself and felt another wave of relief when the kick fell slightly short and caused only minor pain. His options were limited, so he covered his head with his free arm and waited for the next blow. Instead, there was more yelling and the skinny guy sent the drone fleeing from the room with instructions that he worked alone and the door was not to be opened - no matter what he heard going on inside.

When they were alone the guy started berating him and asking him questions in a very loud voice. Deeks had learned a long time ago to react as little as possible to verbal assault and save his energy for physical threats, so he lay quiet and alert. Then he was suddenly confused. During a particularly loud bout of yelling, the man bent down near Marty and held out a bottle of water.

Between outbursts he moved the furniture loudly, and then slammed his foot against the bed. "Groan," he said in a low voice when he bent toward Deeks. "I'm Mike Renko. We met once at OSP."

Deeks produced a very convincing moan and a brilliant smile.

It was a bit of a circus as they both tried to produce sounds that were appropriate for an interrogation and physical assault and at the same time, share as much information as possible. All the while Deeks drank the water.

Renko also brought a power bar, which they hid in the mattress, and a handcuff key he taped in the toe of Marty's shoe.

Eventually, they knew the time to be convincing was running out. Having eased his thirst made it easier for Marty to process the information Renko gave him. Knowing the team was aware of his situation and working to protect him changed everything. They wanted him to maintain his cover and stay with the op. Progress was being made and hopefully they'd have enough to make arrests in the near future. With this added assurance, Deeks was completely willing to stay where he was.

Renko stood up beside the bed and turned his face toward the door. He yelled one last string of expletives and smashed a rickety wooden chair against the wall, then immediately squatted near Deeks' head and spoke softly.

"I asked Kensi what she wanted me to tell you." He paused and gave Deeks a searching look. "I've known Kensi a long time man, she's like a sister to me and I've never seen her like this. She's good. She's doing okay – totally focused on the job, you know. But she is so determined that you'll come home to her." He paused again. "Nobody on the team can figure out what she sees in you," Renko punched Deeks gently on the arm, "but they are all over getting you home so Kensi will back off. That girl has it bad." He shook his head and grinned at Deeks. " Anyway, I asked her what she wanted me to tell you and she said, which makes no sense to me, by the way, 'tell him I'm ready to go to Disneyland'."

With that Renko gave him one more pat on the shoulder and left the room.

The Marty that lay cuffed to the bed when Renko left was a different person than before he showed up. Deeks hadn't had enough water, but some was oh-so-much better than none. He now knew that his cover was safe and his team was informed and looking out for him… It gave a man a new perspective on things. He grinned a little at the thought and then actually smiled when he remembered, again, what Renko had said about Kensi.

They had discussed going to Disneyland (on his lifetime pass) before their very first, official date. She hadn't wanted to go because she really didn't trust him and thought she'd be just one more in a string of women he'd wooed there.

Kensi Blye had never been just another woman to him - but he understood her concern. He'd had a well-deserved reputation as a womanizer while he was with LAPD. Thinking back, he realized it wasn't so much that he'd wanted a string of women, and the conquest that went with them, but more that he'd wanted to avoid any kind of genuine relationship and the inevitable pain that came with.

But now Kensi trusted him enough to take this step and it gave him a warm feeling in his belly. He was completely aware that she was giving him a carrot – something to look forward to, to keep his spirits up and keep him working toward getting out alive. It was an old trick – and it was working. But he was also sure she meant it. She'd have come up with something else if she didn't.

Kensi's reaction when Renko made it back to ops was physical. She felt almost as if she'd been punched in the gut followed by a warm wave of relief that rushed through her body. Trying not to attract any attention, she quietly grabbed a chair – with the clear realization that she _needed_ to sit down. Sam and Callen both turned to look at her, scrutinizing her condition. She met their eyes and tried to look like she was all business – and she was, almost. Callen finally gave her a tiny smile and a nod and she could breath again.

Renko and Eric gave a briefing using everything Mike learned on site and all that Eric had gathered from his many sources. Hetty was now filling in for Deeks and _liasing _with LAPD as it was their case and NCIS was only involved because one of their own was being had additional information about the game plan the cops were working from and what needed to happen before they could end the case.

After an hour of going over every detail multiple times, each team member was as up to speed as possible and ready for whatever came next.

Hetty had excused herself to take a call and when she returned she brought good news.

"LAPD reports that Mr. Deeks is back in the fold and is no longer confined. Their snitch reports he seems to be fine physically, although they have him on "light duty" because he may have bruised or broken ribs, as Mr. Renko reported."

Hetty's gaze was fixed on Kensi as she spoke and she watched her reaction carefully. "Mr. Deeks has provided LAPD with the arrival dates and times of the shipment they hope will be "the one". When they successfully intercept these drugs, they will be able to tie them back to both the head of production and the people involved with transportation – which is their goal."

After a brief pause, she continued. "Unfortunately, the shipment is not expected until the wee hours of Monday night -  
>Tuesday morning. So all of you will be working only regular shifts this weekend and getting lots of rest for the next three days."<p>

" And", she added glancing in Kensi's direction, "that is an order."

Kensi left work and drove. She drove down the Coast Highway for more than an hour before she pulled her car into a scenic outlook with a great view of the beach. The waves were good and a number of surfers were trying to get in a last few rides before it got too dark. The view could have been out of a Golden State advertising campaign – the sunset was deep orange and blue, muted by the color of dusk. It was breathtaking. She walked down to the sand and sat with her back against a rock. There was a gentle breeze and Kensi could hear the surfers talking and laughing as the sound was carried across the stillness of the water.

Of course, she thought of Deeks. As she trailed her fingers through the sand she chose to concentrate on surfing Deeks – not hostage Deeks, not Deeks who was shot in a convenience store, not Deeks when his best friend appeared to have turned against him. She didn't think of Deeks whose father had been such a loser or how it made her sad to know he didn't have an incredible bond with his dad like she'd had with her own.

She thought, instead, about how he would come to work with his hair still ocean wet when the waves were great and he had trouble pulling himself away. She thought about Deeks at the mission where he was a hero and could reveal the kind, gentle man that he kept hidden at NCIS. She thought about Deeks when he buried his face in her hair and was just happy to breathe her in. She remembered with a self-aware smile, the way her body responded when he entered the room, and how it felt when he kissed her. She thought about the way he tasted and how the scent of him lingered on his pillow and in her own hair after she had fallen asleep on his shoulder watching a movie.

Kensi sat, lost in her private therapy session, until the last of the surfers walked past her, carrying their boards and calling their goodbyes. She climbed to her feet a little stiffly, wiped the sand off her now damp pants and headed to the car. When she turned back onto the Highway it was dark enough for headlights.

Kensi lived with danger. It sounded like a line from a bad movie, but she'd made peace with her life style long ago. Part of her success lay in keeping her personal attachments to an absolute minimum. Letting Marty Deeks into her life knocked her plans seriously off center and there were still times when she felt that all too familiar panic start to rise up inside her chest and make her struggle to breathe. They had actually talked about how their relationship changed each of them and accepted that there would be bumps in the road. Tonight, she'd let herself think openly about Deeks as her partner – both at work and in life. She'd pulled no punches as she admitted to herself that this relationship was real and that she was willing to, no, she was going to, fight for it with all that she was.

Kensi finally made it home and climbed into her bed with a sigh. She slept very well.

**I guess I like it when they act like grownups. But I like it when they're having fun too! So here they are dealing as well as can be expected in the circumstances. Hope you enjoy. **


	8. Chapter 8

Not Alone

Chapter Eight

"We'll have the access and regress on the south side of the warehouse." Sam was looking down at his phone screen as he spoke, but glanced up when Kensi started to argue. He cut her off with an official capacity frown. "Kensi, this is not our case and not our op. We're lucky LAPD is letting us get this close. You know they don't have to. I don't like playing outfield any more than you do, but this is what we have to work with - so make the best of it, okay?"

Kensi knew Sam was right, but it wasn't easy being so far away when Deeks was right in the middle of something this potentially dangerous.

"He'll be okay," Callen said quietly as he came up beside her and punched her lightly in the shoulder. "He knows what will happen to him if he isn't careful." Kensi didn't want to smile but couldn't help herself. She knew Callen was right and that Deeks wanted to get back to her as badly as she wanted him back.

They'd been over the dangerous job subject and it was what it was. This was how it was going to be. Kensi rolled her shoulders to relieve a little tension, and then squared them with determination. "Right. You're right. We'll be close and LAPD really can do their jobs. Let's do this thing."

By three in the morning, all three NCIS agents were cold and tired of standing around. They could hear LAPD's audio traffic through their earpieces. Finally, they heard the team leader's voice yelling, "Go, go, go," and knew the wait was over.

_Deeks, or Victor, joined a game of poker that had been going on for the last three nights. He didn't usually play; he wanted something to do - something to occupy not only his mind but also his hands. For most of the gang tonight was nothing special. They knew there was a major buy going down. That meant there would be additional people in the area while large volumes of drugs were moved, but it was pretty routine. They did know that everyone would be required to stand guard from midnight on. Some opted to get extra sleep before they went out, but most played cards or gathered around the television in the main room. _

_At eleven, one of the gang bosses entered the room and told each of them where they would be located. Some were given radios but the rest were told their job was to stop and hold anyone trying to enter or leave the warehouse area. Since it was only a five-minute walk to their posts, most of them went back to what they'd been doing as soon as they received their instructions._

_Victor excused himself from the game and headed outside. Stopping briefly in the bathroom he glanced ruefully at his reflection in the mirror. He was looking forward to getting out of here but, noting the faint blonde roots at the base of his dark hair, he grinned. He was also looking forward to the end of dying his hair. The air outside was comfortably warm as he stepped onto the loading dock outside the building. It was a perfect night for a bust._

_Deeks leaned against the railing and wondered what preparations LAPD and NCIS were making at that moment. He was tired of this op – and ready to see Kensi again. They had spoken on the phone very briefly a couple of times since he had visited her at _**his**_apartment. The fact that she had stayed at his place did funny things to his insides and thinking about it made him grin. _

_Both of them really were handling this separation differently – better – than they had in the past. As he rubbed his hand over his tired eyes he realized with some small satisfaction that they were making it work. The trust they were building had reached a point where they knew that taking care of themselves was as important as watching over each other. Both parts were required if they wanted to be together at the end of the day. _

It took a great deal of concentration by each of the NCIS agents to listen to what was happening inside the building, in the surrounding areas and focus on their own assignment. Finally, they heard running feet coming in their direction. The team was more than ready to respond when two people dressed in dark colors rounded the corner at full speed. The one slightly in front saw Sam's bulk in the way and tried a desperate swerve to avoid a collision but at the last second, Sam took one step to the side and extended his arm. The perp ran into what felt like a rock wall, and crumpled gracelessly to the ground.

The next person was smaller and quick. "Mine," Kensi called out as she started to run. It felt good to be doing something. She was in full pursuit and could feel the adrenaline coursing through her body. Her focus was on her task but she could enjoy the fact that she was helping in some small way and still be aware that at the end of this night she hoped, no expected, to hold Marty Deeks in her arms – or maybe she was looking forward to being held _by_ Marty Deeks. It was a strange fruit salad of thoughts that would have made her smile but she was too busy.

Kensi's subconscious mind analyzed her situation and she knew that the person she was chasing was a woman. Instinctively, Kensi pushed less hard when, after a very short chase, she caught up to her. Her shove threw the runner off balance and she fell to her hands and knees. To her credit, Kensi thought, she didn't cry out but only hissed at the sudden pain.

Kensi handcuffed the woman and pulled the dark hood away from her face. It uncovered a very young woman with spiky blonde hair who stood crying softly in front of her.

"I didn't want to do it," she said through gritted teeth. "They made me. Please, can somebody call my mom…?" Kensi watched as her tears made thin, shiny streaks in the pale glow of the halogen lights.

"If that's true, I'm sure you'll get to see your family very soon."

Thinking about what this young girl had been through and how if would effect her entire family made Kensi both angry and sad. This part of her job was not her favorite.

The NCIS agents took their captives – one being treated quite differently than the other, to a central staging and holding area that had been set up for the night. As she waited with Kristi, who told them she was seventeen, Kensi scanned the crowd of people looking for one very familiar face – but came up empty.

When she relinquished her hold on the trembling teenager to a lady cop, Kensi filled her in with all that she knew. "Remember, she claims to be underage and here against her will. That would add some nice additional charges to what you already have against these guys, wouldn't it?"

Before the teen was lead away, Kensi spoke to Kristi one more time. "I have to finish up here and then I have some things I need to do, but I'll come down and check on you in the morning, Okay? You're going to be alright. Just tell the truth."

Again, Kensi was struck by the overwhelming challenges that life sometimes threw out. This girl was young, scared and seemed to be telling the truth. "I hope she is," Kensi thought just before she returned to scanning the crowd.

_Victor's job for tonight was to stay with the drugs during the buy. He was in the driver's seat of a black SUV with heavily tinted windows that was parked inside an empty warehouse. His field of vision was limited and it made him uncomfortable to be so nearly blind. He'd been waiting for over an hour when he saw a small group of men appear in his rear view mirror. As they approached the vehicle, Deeks could see armed gang members step into place around the perimeter of the huge room. One second everything was business as usual and the next there were multiple explosions as law enforcement threw flash grenades into the room from all sides. The room filled with smoke and when it cleared, many of the gang members were on the ground, injured or just suffering from the concussions. There was a brief exchange of gunfire but the gang was heavily outnumbered, outgunned and unprepared. It was all over but the clearing up almost before it began._

Half an hour later, Kensi was still looking for Deeks. She'd located Sam and Callen and checked in with Eric, none of them had heard from Marty. The three NCIS agents returned to the staging area where individuals and teams were getting final orders and making statements that couldn't wait until later. It was still a busy place but things were definitely winding down. There were about a dozen people packing equipment or leaning against a portable table signing documents. As they approached, two cars pulled away and someone slammed the heavy back doors of a large truck marked LAPD SWAT.

With a tired smirk in Kensi's direction, Callen spoke to one of the cops he'd been getting information from throughout the night.

"Nice work Brad. Everybody and everything all tied up in a nice, neat bow, huh?

When the older man gave him a tired nod, Callen added, "We're gonna head out. You'll have our reports before the end of the day. Hey, have you seen Detective Deeks around?"

"Ah, yeah, Victor." He grinned. "We have a young, over exuberant team lead who told him she'd write him up if he didn't go to the ER and get checked out. Boy, was he pissed. Left about an hour ago."

"Great," Callen said with a grin "I bet he loved that."

"_Sergeant Miller, I really do not need to go the ER. I'm hungry, thirsty and tired. (And I really need someone to kiss my head until it stops pounding. What? Where did that come from?) I can take care of all of those things in my own little apartment. I just want a shower and a chance to sleep for the next 12 or 14 hours. Come on…"_

After gathering their things and getting the last of the information they needed, NCIS was finally driving back toward the mission. They were quiet. Their night hadn't been all that difficult but the fact that they'd been up more than twenty-four hours was beginning to wear. No one spoke until Sam swung into the parking lot and they piled out of his car. Calling out good byes, Callen and Kensi moved to their own vehicles.

Just before he ducked into his car, Callen looked over at Kensi with a smile. "Have fun at the ER, Kens."

She didn't have the energy to argue or deny, so she just shook her head ruefully. "Thanks. Night Callen."

It was no longer completely dark when Kensi walked up the sidewalk to the emergency room. She was relieved to see that it wasn't too busy and the crowd in the waiting room was small and quiet. She scanned the waiting area and then walked through the surrounding halls, checked the coffee machines and hung out long enough to make sure he hadn't just stepped into the restroom before she approached the gray haired woman running the desk. The impressive woman reminded Kensi of nurse Rachet and she worked to stifle an inappropriate urge to giggle. Showing the woman her id, Kensi covered a yawn before she spoke. "I'm looking for an LAPD detective named Marty Deeks. He's blond, looks like a surfer…"

The woman's phone rang and she cut Kensi off. "Almost all the LAPD people are already gone. Nobody here fits that description." With that she answered the phone and forgot completely that Kensi was even there.

_When he arrived in the ER he checked in with the crabby, gray haired woman at the desk. Law enforcement people were in and out of the ER on a regular basis. He'd always wondered why they were at odds instead of working together. But no one could give him a good explanation. He ended up being the last one seen – go figure –because his injuries were so minor – duh. When he finally emerged from the brightly lit bustling place, the sky was lightening. He had an LAPD piece of crap car to drive that smelled like bananas and was painfully loud. Starting it up with a groan he headed toward OSP._

After trudging back to her car. Kensi tried Deeks' cell. He didn't have it with him undercover but it was possible that he'd gotten it back by now. No luck. All she really wanted to do was lay her head against the steering wheel and go to sleep. Instead, she thought about how nice it would be to throw herself onto a real bed, or even a couch. And maybe she wouldn't be alone…

Kensi drove back to OSP. It only took her a minute to decide he wasn't there. Nobody was there.

Next, she drove to his apartment. Because he hadn't been driving his car during the operation, it was in his parking space. So she had to get out of her car and walk all the way to his third floor apartment to find out he wasn't there.

She was running out of ideas and very low on the ability to focus when she checked her own apartment and still found no sign of her favorite, blonde surfer dude. The thought made her smile. Then she emitted a huge groan. Her favorite beach bum was not currently blonde. She had completely forgotten that Marty was now Victor and the description she'd given the warden –I mean nurse- had been completely wrong.

_Deeks checked OSP and found no one there. He drove to his apartment looking for her car and then cruised through the parking lot of Kensi's complex. He was starving and really too tired to be driving around so he swung through a drive through and got breakfast for two very hungry people before he started once again for his own place._

_It was getting difficult to function in his current state but after he had eaten more than he had in the last several days, his head cleared slightly. Knowing in his heart that Kensi would show up at his door when she could, he decided to do the only thing that would keep him awake until she arrived. Slowly he pushed himself up from the table, grabbed his board and headed out. _

By the time she arrived back at the ER the sun was fully up. She'd stopped for coffee because she knew she was about to hit the wall. She slunk up to the desk once again and the formidable woman fixed her with a glare. "Can I help you? Again?"

Kensi knew she was tired when she heard herself start to babble an explanation to the obviously uninterested woman. As she paused to take a breath, the woman interjected quickly, "The _black haired_ detective left about thirty minutes ago. Is that all?"

Kensi could only nod as she pulled her tired body away from the counter and headed back to the car.

There was only one thing she wanted worse than sleep and that was to see with her own eyes that Marty Deeks was safe and sound. That desire kept her on the road as she headed once again toward his apartment. She really couldn't put together a train of thought long enough to figure out if it was her best chance of finding him – but it was something and she had to do something.

She pulled into the parking lot with a moan of near despair. She drug herself out of the car and up to his porch. The door was unlocked and that sent a wave of concern through her. She had been tired when she left – did she forget to lock up? Inside, the sight that met her eyes relieved those fears and many others. The small table where Marty sat to eat was strewn with fast food wrappers and an empty drink cup. There was an unopened bag and an untouched cup waiting beside the litter. He'd bought her breakfast. It was so simple and yet she was totally charmed. But where was the man?

Looking around, it took her longer than normal to realize that he wasn't the only thing missing from the room. The spot between his kitchen counter and the cupboard in the dining room was empty. Wherever he was, he'd taken his board. Kensi broke into a smile so wide she actually reached up and rubbed her tired cheeks.

Ten minutes later Kensi sat on the beach eating her breakfast and watching as a speck on the ocean grew larger. Deeks climbed to his knees and then stood as he hit the perfect spot on the wave. The sun was still early morning yellow and the water was silver instead of blue. There was so much reflection that she had to squint her eyes to see. It was a picture that burned itself into her mind. She knew she would never forget this.

She could tell when he saw her, he was no longer relaxed and riding the wave. Instead, he was tense and trying to push the board. It was all Kensi could do not to run into the water. As much as that might have received a positive reaction from him, she thought it would be more appropriate in a private setting. Instead, she rolled up her pant legs and walked slowly into the shallows where the waves were gentle and felt good on her toes.

When he was close enough, Deeks slipped off his board and tucked it under his arm as he moved purposefully toward Kensi. He was once again, nearly stunned that she could be exhausted, wearing yesterday's clothes and no make up and still be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And she was walking toward _him_ with that look on her face. The one he'd only seen in the last few months. The one that made his insides do flips.

Finally, they stood in the shallow water, face to face and just looked. It was a public beach and a number people had arrived and were either walking the beach or unloading surfing gear. What they wanted to share, what they needed to say, was better left for a later time. So, Deeks did what Deeks did best.

"You ate my breakfast." The smile on his face was everything.

Kensi was happy to play along. "Oh. I thought it was for me. Was it supposed to be for your other girl friend? The pretty one who wears pink ruffles, knows how to cook and works in a flower shop?"

Unable to contain himself any longer, Marty stepped into Kensi's personal space, placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and spoke in a low, husky voice. "I only have one girlfriend. She's drop dead gorgeous, smart, brave, reckless, shoots better than ten men and is amazingly good at her job. She makes me crazy with worry and she makes me really proud. Sometimes I can't figure out what she sees in me, but I think I'm in love."

Kensi's eyes filled with tears, which had not been the intent behind Marty's reveal, but he loved this softer, gentler Kensi too. They stood silently, searching each other's eyes, knowing this was one of those moments that would change everything.

"I love you Kensi Blye. And I missed you so much."

A single tear escaped and slid down Kensi's cheek but the smile on her face was pure joy. "Oh, thank God. I don't want to do this without you." Then, turning serious once again, she looked deep into his eyes before she rested her head on his chest. "I love you Marty Deeks. I'm glad you're home."

**Sorry this took so long. Busy times. Not so sure about this chapter. I would love to hear how you all feel about it. Is it enjoyable when not a lot happens? Is it still interesting at this point? Thanks for reading.**


	9. Not Alone Chapter Nine

Not Alone

Chapter Nine

Saturday afternoon Kensi lay in Marty's lap. They were sharing the couch and both were well rested and well fed – a nice change from the way they'd spent the early part of the week. Marty was supposed to be watching a football game but was actually spending more time looking down at her.

"Do you even know what the score is, Deeks?" she asked with a grin. Kensi was still slightly uncomfortable with the open emotion that had planted itself on her partner's face and never seemed to leave. She was starting to wonder if he would be able to wipe the silly grin off his face long enough to go to work on Monday.

But Deeks didn't care. He had reached a new place in his life and he liked it. He was determined to make it last.

"Actually, it's a game I dvred when I was under cover. I know who wins so I don't have to watch every second. I am enjoying the game, even if I'm not watching it. Does that make sense?"

Kensi laughed. It was a sound he loved and wanted to hear as often as possible. "No, it doesn't make sense, but yes, I understand what you're trying to say."

"So, you think that just because we've spent the last three days together that you now understand the deep and meaningful Marty Deeks, huh?"

Most of the time they were in tune with each other in a way that left many things unsaid – but understood. Theirs was a language of gestures and touches. They spoke with facial expressions and sometimes-blatant physical events. When Kensi shoved him away from her, Marty got a definite message. When she was silent and moved close to him, he read her thoughts. When his hand would rest on her arm and his thumb would rub gentles circles, she always knew if he was soothing her or himself and was a willing participant.

Now, things were different. Well, some things would never change but there were fewer secrets now between Marty and Kensi, _and _between Marty and Kensi and the rest of the world. They were no longer hiding their relationship at work. The last time Hetty had called for a status report she had even given Kensi a message for him without asking if he were there. And the whole gang had gotten together at Marty's apartment for pizza and beer the night before and no one was the least bit surprised when Kensi was able to get fresh clothes from the bedroom when Nell dropped pepperoni in her lap.

Kensi thought about what he had just asked her. She was quiet and stayed that way for so long that Marty ran his comment through his mind again and tried to see if she might have gotten a different meaning than the simple teasing question he had intended. He didn't come up with any obvious inappropriateness, so he waited, still watching her as she lay beside him.

Kensi thought back to the previous three days. They were at a really good place now, but it hadn't happened overnight. The first day they had reunited at the beach. It was morning and neither of them had slept for more than a day, so they didn't have near enough energy to talk or do the other things they really wanted to. Instead, they held hands on the way back to the apartment. The physical proof that they were together and safe was as satisfying as the breakfast they had hungrily consumed. Once they were inside, Deeks quickly lost his battle with exhaustion. His head was pounding and his vision starting to swim when Kensi lead him into the bedroom and settled herself on the bed.

"You better put on something dry before you get into bed, especially if you think I'm going to join you." She laughed at the look of confusion on Marty's tired face. "Don't get too excited there, tiger. You'll be asleep in ninety seconds. We're just gonna sleep Deeks."

He shook his head ruefully and grinned. "I'm sorry Kens."

Suddenly serious she stood and put a soft hand against his cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You always told me that it takes time to come back to yourself after going deep undercover. There is no hurry here. I'm going to be here for you until you're back on your feet and feeling like yourself again. Just like you would be for me if the tables were turned. You okay with that?"

Marty looked at his partner a long time before he was sure he wouldn't embarrass himself when he spoke. "More than okay with that. Yep. Very okay." He pulled her close to him and they rested with their heads pressed close. The comfort and familiarity made Kensi's chest tighten, but frankly, it made Marty dizzy. Kensi pulled away when she felt him start to sway slightly. Laughing, she straightened him up and pushed him gently away from her.

"Dry clothes Deeks. Focus. I'm going to go brush my teeth. Last one in bed is a rotten egg."

Five minutes later she crawled onto the bed next to him. He was wearing sweats and a white t-shirt. Kensi had liberated a LAPD shirt from his clean laundry pile and paired it with yoga pants she'd had in the car.

When Marty cracked open one eye to look at her, he moaned softly.

"What?"

"That's my shirt Blye. You're killin' me here."

"So, you have a problem with me borrowing your things." She tried to sound offended but he could hear the awareness in her voice.

"No. Not at all. It's just that you're wearing my shirt and you are totally hot in it. It's a caveman thing. You're making me crazy. That's all," he finished weakly.

Kensi laughed and leaned down to brush a simple kiss against his lips.

"Under the covers, Deeks, and don't even think about trying any funny business."

"Yes Kensi."

By the time she had gotten them both covered up and snuggled herself against his side until she was comfortable, Kensi thought he had fallen asleep. She took the opportunity to look at him without hiding and to feel grateful that he was safe and home and close enough to touch.

She was startled when he opened his eyes briefly, kissed the top of her head and said quietly. "It's good to be home."

When Deeks awoke it was afternoon. It took him a moment with his eyes closed to realize he was in his own apartment, in his own bed-alone. He sat up quickly and looked around. His head still felt thick but he was sure he remembered… Then his eyes fell on a bright pink piece of paper on the other side of the bed. He smiled as he picked it up; glad no one else knew how high his heart rate had gone in that brief moment he missed her.

_Deeks,_

_Did you just freak out when you realized I wasn't there?_

_I'm sorry you had to wake and find me gone. I need to go in and talk to the agents about the girl we busted last night. I'm hoping that she was just a misplaced friendly and that they are taking good care of her._

_Go back to sleep. I'll be there ASAP and I'll bring dinner and a movie._

_TTYL_

_Kensi_

_P.S. You don't need to freak out any more, you know I'll be back._

_P.S.S. I love you Marty Deeks- Wow that was tough to write. : )_

When Kensi finally made it back to the apartment with her arms loaded with bags of groceries and boxes of Korean takeout, it was dark and silent. She had always enjoyed her alone time, really needed time spent in quiet contemplation or just spent. But since she had admitted her feelings for her partner to herself, she also had to admit she missed him when he wasn't around. A lot.

After dropping her bundles on the kitchen counter she moved toward the living room to turn on the stereo and noticed a piece of paper lying on the couch in the spot where she usually sat. She picked it up and a contented smile spread over her face as she read.

_Kens,_

_Hi. Yes, I freaked a little but got over it quickly. Lol. I'm going to LAPD to fill out my preliminary reports and then stop in to see Monica and get my hair uncolored. Can't wait for that can you?_

_I'll try to be there for dinner by 6:30. I'll bring the beer because I am the classy date, right?_

_I miss you already,_

_Marty_

By the time Deeks made it home he was tired and starving. He kissed Kensi deeply but briefly and they both laughed at the idea that even this early in their relationship, food and sleep still had to be priorities.

They were both sound asleep on the couch by nine o'clock when Kensi woke and decided she needed to go home.

"But you are home Kens," he whined gently in her ear. "Stay with me, please."

"Deeks, working this op put our relationship on a roller coaster and you being Victor messed it up even more. I think we need to sleep and do normal things for a day or two so that we can make good choices for the future."

Kensi saw the way Marty's face changed while she was speaking and hurried to reassure him. She took his face in both her hands, waiting until he looked up and met her eyes. "Deeks, I'm not dumping you or trying to let you down easy or any of the other things that you're thinking right now. You don't need to freak out, remember? I love you, and that's just the way it is. But I want us to be our best when move forward. I need a few hours to think about you. It's okay to be apart a little. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know? Although if my heart grows any more fond it may just explode…" Her words trailed off and she realized that she had been babbling. These were not things the old Kensi would ever have admitted too, and that reality was not lost on Deeks.

He pressed a finger to her lips, stopping her before she could add any more to the already intense moment. And he laughed softly.

"I get if Kensi and you're right. I just don't want to be that far away from you. I will get to see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yes. Definitely. I'll come by in the afternoon. Do you want to get together with the rest of the team tomorrow night? They really did miss you and they've been complaining that we never have any fun anymore. We could go out or maybe you'd rather just order pizza and watch a movie? Or play poker?"

Marty was hesitant as Kensi spoke. Normally he loved spending time with the team. It had been a rough road but he knew that he was now as much a part of the team as anyone else. He could finally accept that they missed him and genuinely wanted to spend time together. But he was still working to shed his undercover persona and was reluctant to share his Kensi time with anyone else – until she said "poker".

"Poker! Yes please. Can we do it here?"

She laughed at his sudden improvement in mood. "Yes, Deeks we can do it here. I'll call everyone in the morning and set it up. Seven o'clock work for you?"

"Sure, but only if you come a lot earlier." When she gave him a wicked grin he quickly added, "I'll need your help getting ready, Kens."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm free to help you out tomorrow." Reluctantly she gathered up her things to leave, then turned serious as she spoke quietly to him. "You know you can call anytime, right?" When he nodded thoughtfully she added, "by the way, your hair looks good. Like Deeks is back you know?"

"Yep. I know."

Poker night had been a blast. The team was together and grateful. It had been ages since they had gathered just to spend time and enjoy each other's company. There was tons of food, lots of beer and much spirited competition. Kensi was very good at playing poker while her undercover-expert partner stunk. It was strange and she had reminded herself to talk to him about it sometime. It seemed like a guy who could _be_ another person in the blink of an eye would be good at bluffing – not an epic failure.

They had laughed and talked and told stories until the wee hours when Hetty demanded they sing karaoke. She was really an excellent singer and when she'd had just enough to drink she really loved entertaining.

After a couple slightly stumbling attempts to get the equipment set up – even Eric forgot a few steps – they were ready.

Hetty sang _Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better_ and had them rolling on the floor, especially when Sam joined her in the back and forth chorus of the song.

Callen did _Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen_ by Baz Luhrmann. The rest of the team gave him crap because it was spoken to music and not sung – but he did it well and was hilarious.

Kensi never agreed to sing at these events, so she juggled for a few minutes. Sam claimed that he had done his part when he backed up Hetty.

Eric and Nell blew them totally away when they did a duet from Godspell called _All The Best._ It was fast, fabulous and funny and Eric sang it as if he'd done it a thousand times. Nell stumbled a time or two but Eric helped her through and more than one of the team wondered just what was going on between them.

The crowd was getting tired by the time Marty stepped up to do his bit. He chose a song that no one on the team had heard before – except Kensi who often listened to his ipod in the car. He sang James Morrison's _Under The Influence. _When the soft, jazzy introduction started Callen couldn't help but comment. "That doesn't sound The Doors to me."

Kensi reached over and pushed him not so gently on the shoulder. "Not Jim Morrison, James Morrison. Now hush."

Later, they would realize that none of them aside from Kensi had ever heard Deeks sing. He was good. They were shocked. The song was slow and perfect for his voice.

_I was sure_

_I was born and raised to be my own man_

_I was so sure_

_I was never gonna need a helping hand_

_And she said_

_Trust in your heart _

_And there's no need to understand_

_Well, just when I thought_

_I had it planned out_

_Whatever I do _

_I'm under the influence of you_

_Whatever I do_

_I'm under the influence of you…_

No one in the room had any doubt who he was singing to. If something like this had happened to Kensi in the past, it would have sent her running for the hills. Public displays of affection made her uncomfortable even in a crowded room full of strangers. But now, she sat and listened to Deeks sing about the "tidal wave that swept me off my feet," knowing full well that he meant her, and felt only warm and safe and loved.

It had been a great party.

As Nell "caught a ride home" with Eric they talked about the new team dynamics.

"It's hard to believe that woman is the same Kensi Blye. I have never seen her so calm. And Deeks! Omg, he's like the cat that ate the canary. I wonder if he's ever been this happy before." Eric's voice carried his amazement.

It was Nell who summed it up best, though. "I wonder if either one of them has ever felt so connected?"

Kensi woke up in her own apartment that Saturday morning. It had taken all her strength to leave with the rest of the team the night – or morning before. It had earned her a number of curious looks when she'd announced she was leaving too. As much time as the team knew they had spent together in the last few days, it was assumed that she was actually staying with him.

But lying in her bed alone, she knew it was time to move past the denial and decide what she wanted from this day and perhaps all the days in her future.

Kensi climbed out of bed and into her running gear. A run was what she needed to clear her head and give her the time and space to think. At first she ran hard enough that the effort demanded her thoughts as the miles ticked away. She purposely ran farther than her usual route, forcing herself to end the hardest part of her run a sizable distance from home. When she slowed to a walk she grinned to herself. She had decided that she wouldn't go back home until she was comfortable with her decision.

"I am an idiot," she thought. "I have actually given myself and assignment." But the soft, small smile remained as she walked on autopilot toward home.

Marty Deeks. She was aware what happened when she thought about him. There was a sense of safety and calm that overtook her. And there was heat. Being honest was not her strong suit but she pressed on. He made her heart rate pick up and caused a rush in her belly. She felt lighter when she admitted that she believed he would stay, that he would never leave her of his own volition. And she felt an urgent weight when she touched the possibilities of the danger they faced every day. If she let him in, if she truly gave herself over to these feeling and then lost him…

Her thoughts were a blur and she ended up just remembering. The good times, the touches, the teasing, the kisses. The bad times, the pain, the loneliness and the fear. Suddenly, she was standing at her own front door. She had promised she would not go inside until she was sure. She had expected this decision to be uncomfortable and difficult. Instead, she stuck her key into the lock and pushed the door open. She shook her head and huffed as she stepped inside, finally admitting the truth. There was only one place she wanted to be. It was that easy.

Only a few moments had passed as she contemplated her answer to his question. Bringing herself back to the present she decided that it wasn't necessary to talk about it right now, so she propped herself on one elbow and pulled his head down into a kiss. Before they got carried away, Kensi rolled up to a sitting position, slid slightly away from Marty's warmth and stood. He frowned and reached for her arm. "Where you going? Don't leave."

"We can't spend the whole day on the couch, Deeks. We need to go spend some time in the gym." She jabbed him gently in the gut. "Time to get your groove back, mister, and get rid of Victor forever." Then she bent and kissed him one more time.

Two hours later they were both lying on their backs on a mat in the gym. During the time they'd been partnered together they'd done more than just fall in love. Deeks had helped Kensi develop her undercover skills, and lead by example, showing how to create bonds that made gathering information easier and more successful. Kensi had helped Deeks improve his already very good shooting skills and, of course, his physical training had improved as well.

They had started the workout with free weights and moved on to the heavy bag but for the last twenty minutes they had worked on hand-to-hand skills. The new, more physical aspect of their relationship could be pushed to the back of their minds in an actual, serious encounter, but working in the gym was different.

Marty would love to watch Kensi fight to the end of his days. She was so good it made him crazy. He loved it when she was flushed and warm and just a little sweaty. She was graceful, fast and incredibly strong. And every time her amazing beauty distracted him, she nailed him.

"Uncle," Marty groaned. "You win. You're better than me and always will be. Please say we can stop."

Kensi rolled up onto her side and scooted her body closer to his. She put her hand carefully on his chest and could feel his still pounding heart. She started to speak and then hesitated. Deeks rolled up to mirror her position. He knew she was struggling and, although he was pretty certain they were on the same page, he frowned slightly while he waited for her to try again.

Finally, Kensi met his gaze, took a deep breath and spoke.

"Are you okay, Marty? Are we doing this?"

He knew, of course, what "this" was. He had told her before he was in, committed and ready. But if she needed to hear it again he'd tell her. Again and again and again, if he needed too.

"I love you, Kensi Blye. I'm doing this, full on, no hesitation. So the only question is, are you doing this with me?"

She was tense and it made him a little nervous. He reached out his hand and rested it against her cheek and tried not to panic as the seconds ticked by. Then, he could see and feel her relax as she pushed her face against his hand and finally smiled.

"Yes. Completely. There are still things that scare me but what scares me the most is my life without you. We are what we are and that means risk. But I want to be happy each and every moment I can. In order for that to happen, I need to be with you."

Marty reached out and pulled her close, nearly crushing her in his overwhelming joy. They clung to each other for a moment and then relaxed apart laughing.

Marty's gaze was so full of affection and hope that it made Kensi's eye blur in an almost unfamiliar way. Sensing her discomfort, Marty rolled onto his back taking her with him and covered every inch of her face and neck with exuberant kisses.

When they finally paused to take a breath, he looked down on her with adoration and near awe.

"So, what are we going to do now?" His voice was soft with genuine emotion but it didn't stop him from throwing her a wicked grin and waggling his eyebrows suggestively at her.

"Yeah," she said still laughing. "That too. But first, I'm going to Disneyland."

**Yeah! Everybody's happy. Hope you like it and I hope you'll be kind enough to let me know. It really matters! Thanks you all for reading!**


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